Page 26 of Red Hot Harmony

“Really.” A nod.

My fingers found his hair, sunk into it, wrapped themselves around the roots, pulled a little. All on pure instinct.

“See.” Dante smirked, his thumb sliding to my chin, the roughness of his calluses pleasant. “You’re more capable of getting this handled than I am.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

We were quiet for a several moments, staring at each other.

“It’s been a long time for me too,” he finally confessed, the admission loud and clear, though the words had been whispered.

“I don’t suppose it’s as long as in my case.” I relaxed my grip on his hair, its silky thickness melting on my fingertips, brushing my palms.

“Not since before the overdose and not like this.”

The vulnerability with which he uttered it pulled at my heartstrings. There was another side to Dante I’d never seen, the side he’d managed to hide from me for so long, I’d never known had it. He was afraid. Truly afraid.

“You’re the first one,” he breathed out. “I can only hope I’ll meet your expectations...or perform in general.” There was a wobble in his voice that he masked with an unmistakably nervous laugh.

“I’m pretty sure performance isn’t going to be an issue.” I moved my hips against his erection as if to stress my point. He was rock hard and solid and felt wonderful between my quivering thighs.

“It’s different when you’re clean and sober. You don’t get the luxury of having stimulants do all the work for you.”

The realization that he wasn’t used to sex without the influence of drugs or alcohol made my chest swell. The emotions in me were now running wild and rampant. “I promise I won’t be disappointed.”

The roles were suddenly reversed. I was the one begging and Dante was the one hesitating, his eyes studying me intently.

“I don’t want to be wanted for my past accomplishments anymore,” he said, gently pushing my hair behind my ear. “For what I might represent.”

“You know that’s not why I’m with you.”

“I do. And that makes it even more terrifying.” Another soft laugh. “Almost as terrifying as the first time... I think in another life, it would have been different between us. I’d take you out and I’d shower you with whatever your heart desired... I think in another life—where I wasn’t what I am now—it would be easier. It would be simpler.”

“Simple isn’t always the answer.”

“No, it rarely is,” he agreed, his face lowering to my cheek. Then he whispered, “I’ve wanted you for so long, but now that I have you, I don’t know what to do. I’ve imagined it so many times—” The words cut off abruptly.

Then I felt it—the rise of tension in him. Every muscle wrought and every breath labored. His head dropped, his forehead rubbing against my ear.

“Tell me,” I started, cradling the back of his neck. “About how it’d be if you and I had met sixteen years ago.”

There was a shift and a slide of his body along the length of mine, his knee still rested on the bed, nudging my legs slightly apart. His face now rested between my breasts, the hot stirring of air from his breathes caressing my stomach.

“I think you wouldn’t like me at first,” he said earnestly. “I think I’d pursue you anyway. Stalk you on your way to school and send you indecent notes and maybe even invite you to one of my shows.”

“Maybe I’d come. Sneak out through my window and catch a ride with a friend.”

“Maybe you’d even enjoy it or maybe you’d want nothing to do with me.”

“Maybe you’d need to try harder to impress me.”

“Maybe I would.”

Silence bloomed through the dark of the bedroom. Images, clear and colorful, flashed through my mind and I allowed myself this one weakness—to pretend that there was no press hunting him, no Eloise Rockwell scrutinizing my every choice, no Greg…and no grumpy teenager to pacify.

And then the fantasy faded just as quickly, because no matter how bad Ally and I were right now, she was a piece of me, blood of my blood and bone of my bone, and no amount of freedom would ever come close to the feeling all her firsts—smile, word, or step—gave me.

The sensation was like a ball of warmth, soft and delicate and all-consuming, floating through my chest, pushing and pulling.

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