Page 81 of Deliverance

I drop my hands to my hips and glance at Luca. Lips pressed together in a tight line, he shakes his head once as if he’s washing his hands of this train wreck.

Fuck me.

I draw in a deep breath and pace around the room while Leo’s on the phone with his guitarist, telling him to get his ass over to the studio, pronto.

A few minutes later, the door swings open and Toby enters the control room. His sour expression says it all—he’s just as pissed at his bandmate as I am.

“Let’s play this baby!” With a shit-eating grin, Leo hands the USB to Luca.

We form a small semi-circle and listen to the demo. My gaze dips to the floor and stays there for the entirety of the song. I absorb the music carefully, searching for a hook, searching for a lick of originality, searching for something that will make a person feel.

“What do you think, huh?” Leo asks when the demo ends.

That I waited a week to hear this hocus-pocus any high school kid can write on a GarageBand app on their iPhone.

I look him in the eyes to gauge his state of mind. He’s fried. It’s obvious. Telling him that the song sucks right now will equate to a punch in the gut. Telling him later, when he’s clean, will make me a liar.

“The lyrics are really good.” This is not bullshit. The lyrics are the strongest component of the song. They’re rich and focused, and he’s probably put a lot of time into writing them, but that’s where the true artistry ends.

Everything else is crap. The riffs are too generic, the bass is impossible to hear, the drum sections aren’t salvageable.

“It needs work,” I say.

“Dude, I know.” Leo clasps my shoulder. “I was thinking maybe you can mess around with keyboards a bit.”

“You want to add keyboards…to this song?”

“I mean…yeah… It’s a fucking power ballad.” Leo’s confused gaze bounces between me, Toby, and Luca.

Cold silence blooms inside the room. All eyes are suddenly on me.

“Sure. I can see what I can do.” I finally cave, well aware that I’m digging my own grave.

Toby releases a sigh of relief.Fucker.

The rest of the day drags on. The only person who seems remotely excited about being in the studio is Leo, but his reasons are manufactured by whatever drug he’s taken, and he’s going to hate himself when the effect wears off.

I know, because I was him in my previous life.

It’s almost nine when he finally leaves. We’re about to wrap up for the day and I use the opportunity to ask Toby about earlier.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Don’t ask me. I’m not his keeper.” Toby shrugs.

“Is he rolling again? The song is shit and still…you let him put me on the spot.”

“Chill out, Shaw.”

“Don’t fucking tell me to chill out.” I grit my teeth. “How am I supposed to work with this garbage?”

“It’s not that bad,” Toby tries to argue. The twist in his features tells me he thinks otherwise, but he’s too chicken to voice the fact.

“It is. You know it. I know it. Luca knows it.”

“Strip it to the basics.”

I sink my hands into my hair and lift my face to the ceiling, trying to ground the flames of irritation burning within me. Today was crap. Tomorrow is looking lousy too.

---