Page 40 of Deliverance

“Not funny.” I toss one of the fortune cookies at him, but he ducks and it lands on the floor.

“But you do look delicious, babe.”

“Asshole.” I angrily stab my chopstick into a piece of chicken.

“I’m simply stating the obvious.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” I flick my gaze back at him and smile. “I’m just confused. He’s totally out of my league.”

“Nuh-uh.” Santiago shakes his head. “Don’t you ever say that. You can have any man you want, and if they don’t see how precious you are, fuck them sideways.”

That puts a real grin on my face.My friend and that foul mouth of his.

“By the way,” Santiago murmurs suggestively. “If you decide to pass, I’d fuck him sideways myself.”

“I don’t think he plays for your team.”

One brow arched, Santiago questions, “Did you already ask?”

“Nympho.” I come back.

“Sex is a great stress reliever.”

I wish I agreed, but our demons are different. While my best friend prefers attacking them head-on, I prefer to keep them at bay.

After a ripple of silence, Santiago says quietly, “You haven’t been going to the meetings…” He doesn’t finish the thought, but I know what he’s hinting at.

“I’m busy.” Absentmindedly, I stir the food in front of me with my chopsticks. A sliver of guilt stems from deep within me and I try to push this useless feeling away, but Santiago is right. I’ve been avoiding going back to our support group ever since the completion of all thirty pieces.

Is it because I’m terrified to face the fears and scars of the people who agreed to be my subjects? Or is it because I’m terrified to see my own fears and scars in their eyes?

“Come over tomorrow. It’s Mack’s birthday. Rumor has it, there’ll be a huge cake,” Santiago croons.

“I’ll try to make time.”

“Now”—he gestures at my phone—“call the drummer.”

“No,” I protest.

“Why not? Clearly, he’s got the hots for you.”

I set my elbow on the table and prop up my forehead with my palm. “I’ve given my reasons.”

“Excuses, you mean?” A raised brow dares me again.

I roll my eyes.

“He seems like a cool cat.”

“Really?”

“What? I googled him.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“That’s why you love me. But seriously, call him.”

“Okay, okay.” I cave under the pressure. “Later. Once we’re done eating.”

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