Page 177 of Deliverance

The building seems to have become abuzz all of a sudden. Noises begin to slam at me from every direction. The whispers. The hum of the AC. The distant rumble of an engine.

I stand up and prop myself against the wall of the stall with an elbow, then try to get Leo’s attention. “Hey, man?”

He doesn’t react. His eyes are open, staring right past my knees. I tried to get him up twice before, but he almost knocked me unconscious.

Stubborn fucker.

I hear a commotion outside in the corridor and then the click of heels and Toby and Stevie move aside as a female figure enters the restroom.

I push myself away from the wall and turn to study the woman, thinking that she’s smaller than I remember. Smaller and thinner.

“Is he there?” Athena motions at the stall, tension contorting her face.

She’s wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a dark green utility jacket and looks almost normal. Save for her hair. Long, shiny, silvery, like a glistening waterfall cascading down her shoulders and back.

“He refused to be moved,” I say, backtracking a little bit to give her space, but she stands in her spot for what seems like forever, balling the fingers of her right hand into a fist, then uncoiling them, then balling them again. A vein in her forehead thrums beneath her skin.

In the corridor, Toby, Stevie, and the rest of the band have gathered into a semi-circle, their eyes on Athena as if they’ve never seen a woman before.

Part of me can understand the fascination. She’s stunning, doesn't look a day over thirty, Although it’s a well-known fact that she’s pushing forty like most of us here. I’ve seen her perform up close more than once, and each time, the show left me speechless. I’m speechless right now too, but for entirely different reasons.

“Leo?” She moves toward the stall, her heels snapping against the tile lightly.

Leo’s face changes when he sees who’s standing in front of him. He smiles, but it’s such a sad smile that my heart bleeds a little bit at the sight.

Athena kneels down and scoots over past the door, her face level with his. “Talk to me, what’s going on?” Her voice is small, fragile even, like a thin thread that binds them together.

“You’re asking me what’s going on?” He sneers, but there’s no malice in his glance when he looks at her. None whatsoever.

“Why do you do this to yourself?” She reaches for his cheek and rests her palm against it, and this is when I know they need privacy, so I retreat to the door and shoo everyone out.

Toby’s silent. Stevie’s messing with his lighter. Jacob’s hanging back.

Farther down, I note Luca’s face. He’s standing with his arms folded across his chest, watching us, expression solemn.

The temperature seems to have jumped at least ten degrees, because I’m sweating and my shirt sticks to my back.

“I’m going for a smoke,” Stevie announces as if anyone cares and walks off.

A few tense minutes later, the restroom door opens and Athena calls, “Can you help me take him to my car?”

I’m not certain if she’s asking me specifically or anyone, but I’m the first to volunteer. That’s how we end up in the parking lot. The two of us carrying Leo’s limp, barely conscious body past the rows of vehicles. There are a couple of people—studio personnel—watching us from afar, their indiscernible whispers carrying over on the wind. Cell phone photos were probably taken too.

Athena unlocks her SUV and I haul Leo into the front passenger seat. He’s got long legs and long arms that are a real nuisance, but I manage. I did this for Chance many times.

“Thanks,” Athena says, rounding the vehicle.

“You’re going to get some rest right now, man, okay?” I shake Leo’s shoulder. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He nods.

I shut the door and step away from the SUV. Athena continues to stand there, hands on her hips.

“He needs help,” I whisper. “I’m not sure what’s happening with him. It’s not my business, but I do know that he’s got a good thing going with this album and if he doesn’t get back on track and finish it, he’s going to regret it and regrets are the worst kind of poison.” I pause, finally noticing that Athena’s eyes are red-rimmed, a match to Leo’s. “Make him get help if you have to. And if you don’t want to do it for him, do it for yourself. Because if you don’t, you’ll regret it too. And that regret will eat you alive. It’ll make things meaningless and days dull. I guarantee you that.”

I don’t have to tell her that I know all about regret firsthand. And she knows that I know. The whole fucking world knows.

“I’ll talk to him when he’s…himself.” Athena’s lips pull at the corners. A smile that’s not joyous at all.

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