Page 161 of Deliverance

“Yep. I thought they were serious. Who told you?”

“Cruz.”

“Fucking Tyler.” I make a mental note to call him tomorrow to see how he’s doing. Dude has never been able to keep in touch when we were off tour and now that we’re all on indefinite hiatus, he hardly reaches out. Truth is, I don’t even know where he is. He’s a more hardcore nomad than I am.

Later on, when we return to the living room, buzzed and happy, I find Hazel and Drew kneeling by the Christmas tree, trying to persuade Faith that the Baby Yoda ornament isn’t edible. Jazzy and Aiden are sparring with lightsabers. Cruz, Wendy, and their oldest spawn are in the den, playing whatever game was on the screen previously.

Justice picks up his daughter from the blanket spread out on the floor and claims a corner set in the middle of the room. Surprisingly, she doesn’t put up a fight.

“Why does she listen only to you?” Hazel sighs, rising to her feet.

“Because she loves Daddy the most,” he coos, nuzzling the girl’s hair. “Yes, my Princess. Say you love Daddy the most.”

“He’s horrible, isn’t he?” I give his wife a sympathetic look, my gaze sweeping to Drew next. She’s watching Justice with a contorted expression, and something tugs at my heartstrings.

A heavy feeling takes root in my gut.

“It’s a well-known fact that I’m a big hit with the ladies,” Justice says, rocking his daughter.

“Oh, well, in that case, you’re sleeping in the nursery tonight.” Hazel chucks a pink stuffed bunny at him and he expertly catches the toy with one hand.

“And yes”—his wife rolls her eyes and smiles at me—“he’s still a conceited…poo on a stick.”

This had Aiden distracted and snickering, and Jazzy uses the opportunity to deliver a massive lightsaber blow to his chest.

“You’re just jealous.” Justice flashes her a camera-worthy smile and smooches his daughter’s plump cheeks. “That Princess listens to me.”

“I’m not.” She folds both arms across her chest and adds, “Just wait till she turns thirteen and starts paying attention to boys. You’ll change your mind.”

“Thirteen?” He wraps his arms around the kid, tone fearful. “This monkey is still in diapers and you’re talking about boys, woman?”

I chuckle at their domestic bickering. It’s strange watching a man who used to sing songs about blow jobs and simulate sex acts on stage be so protective of the little human he’s made with his wife.

“Laugh all you want, Zander.” Hazel whips her head at me. “But trust me, they grow up much faster than you think.”

“Why are you looking at me?” A blend of amusement and unease crawls through my chest.

“Because Dad says you're next. It’s your turn to get married,” Aiden blurts out, fending off another blow from Jazzy.

Drew’s features grow ashen when I look at her.

Apparently, the entire Cross family has been discussing us for a while now. Great. Fucking great.

There’s a long pause. The silence is nearly deafening except for the excited screams and racket coming from the den.

“Excuse me.” Drew pushes to her feet and bolts outside through the glass door facing the pool house.

“I’m going to destroy your wedding cake,” Jazzy says to me as I rush after her, ignoring everyone’s stares.

“Sorry, man!” Justice shouts, but his apology comes a little too late.

“Drew?” I call, my voice rough, my heart thundering.

The sun has already disappeared behind the horizon and the back yard is freckled with shimmering light from the small bulbs hanging above our heads. A winter breeze rips into my hair and bites at my neck, but I don’t feel the cold.

“Drew. Hold on.” I try again, falling into step behind her while she continues to stride down the pathway, away from the house.

The ocean beneath is dark and loud and the air is full of various smells. Sage. Salt. Oranges. Seaweed. Fear. Disappointment.

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