Page 149 of Deliverance

“Yeah. How did that come about?”

“I was twenty-two when I rode my very first wave. By that time, we’d already signed a record deal and moved to L.A. And I wanted to try new things. I actually had this crazy idea to get into skydiving, but the guys talked me out of it.” He chuckles. “They said they didn’t want to lose a good drummer to stupidity.”

“And did you end up jumping out of a plane?”

“Hell yeah. Twice.”

“Did you like it?”

“It was definitely an adventure, but I think I’m more of a water person. It didn’t feel the same as when I’m challenging the waves.”

Another pause, this one stretching for so long, I almost forget what we’re talking about. Then suddenly, Zander murmurs, his voice a rough whisper, “It’s ironic that no matter how often I confront it, it doesn’t want me, but it took him.”

My stomach bottoms out.The car accident.I’m scared to say anything that would push him further over that edge he’s been teetering on all this time.

“Zander?” I call after a while and kiss his bicep.

“Hmm?” He turns his head to look at me, our faces only a hair’s breadth apart.

“There’s nothing you can do to bring him back. It doesn’t work like that. You don’t get to swap one life for another.”

He stares at me for a few heartbeats, then reaches up to tangle his fingers in my hair and presses his mouth to my forehead. “I know. I just think we should have done something, but we were so fucking blinded by fame… And I’m afraid to make the same mistake twice. I won’t come out in one piece.”

“When my dad died, I couldn’t believe it at first. It felt like a dream. A horrible dream that I expected to end, but it never did. Instead, it turned uglier. I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t been drowning in grief. Would I have even noticed Rhys or just gone on with my college life, got my degree, and moved on? But I was so goddamned lonely and he saw it and took advantage of my loss. It cost me six years of my life.” I stop and take a steadying breath. “And guess what? I don’t regret it anymore. You know why?”

Zander holds my gaze. “Why?” The rumble of the ocean devours his voice, but I can still read the question on his lips.

“Because it led me to you.”

Something flickers in his eyes. “I’m sorry I came into your life so late, baby.”

“I’m not. I’m just glad you made it into my life at all.” I pause for a moment and study his features. “My point is that there’s no going back. There’s only going forward and if you keep thinking about the past, you’ll never be able to move on. Instead, you should learn to do better.”

Wordlessly, he brushes his mouth over mine. It’s a slow kiss of salt and wind and wanton promises and I revel in this exquisite taste of him.

“I could do this all night,” Zander confesses, his voice rough and guttural.

“I believe there are a lot of other things you could do to me too.” I reach for my sandals, my pulse kicking into a sprint. “Race you to the car?”

Then, I hop off the rock and charge back toward the parking lot, the sand beneath my feet drifting.

“Cheater!” Zander roars somewhere behind me, his footfalls growing louder and louder until he finally catches up. His arms lock me into a steel embrace.

Stumbling, we almost lose our balance, and he presses a kiss to the top of my head. “Not fair. You had a head start.”

“And you’ve got longer legs.” I laugh.

“Oh, I don’t know. I think your legs are pretty great too.” He slips his hand down to my hip and tangles his fingers in my skirt.

Heat pools between my thighs. “Let’s go,” I whisper, needing to be alone with him.

We drive back to the house with the music on and the windows down, and when Zander’s Jeep finally pulls into the driveway twenty minutes later, the hammering in my chest is so loud, I can barely hear myself talk.

Zander jumps out of the car and rounds the front to meet me before I can get out of my seat.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now.” He grins, handing me the keys. “Hold this for me, please.”

“Sure.” And before I realize what his plan is, I’m up in the air, pressed to a hard chest, and he’s carrying me across the yard, bridal style, strong muscled arms cradling my body.

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