Page 54 of Final Serenade

“I told you. I forgot.”

“You know Izzy isn’t into guys, right? You flirted with her all night.”

“I know.”

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure you don’t get your hopes up.”

“You think I’m so dumb I can’t tell gay from straight?”

“No, I don’t think you’re so dumb, Ashton.” I paused and listened to the engine purr. Thin fog spilled into the parking lot from the tops of the hills. “Actually, sometimes I do. Because you behave like a ten-year-old.”

“No, I don’t. I wasn’t flirting with her, and I did everything you said today. I carried your bag all night.”

“Could you put your seatbelt on, please?”

“Come on. Say it. I didn’t fuck up. You’re going to see Levi tomorrow anyway. You can give him the card.”

I didn’t know why telling my brother he hadn’t disappointed me tonight was difficult. Maybe because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually said that to him. At the same time, I understood encouragement had to be a part of his rehabilitation. He needed to hear the praise. He needed to hear he was doing a good job.

“Look”—I leaned back in my seat in an attempt to gather my thoughts—“you were a lot of help today, Ashton. Next time, try to be more attentive. Always check all the gear before you leave. Bags, pockets. You want to make sure you don’t lose anything important like an SD card, okay?”

“Okay.” He buckled up and connected the aux cord to his phone. “Any special requests?” A proud smile flashed across his lips, but he hid it from me.

“No.” I shook my head. “I’ll tell you if I don’t dig it.”

We had a very strange push-pull relationship, which exhausted the hell out of me lately. I wanted my solitude. I wanted my living room empty. I wanted my bathroom free of clutter. But I wanted Mom to have at least a few weeks of rest too.

She deserved it.

In a sick way, I liked the fact that Ashton was always in my face. His company made me forget about my short-lived almost-affair with Frankie Blade.

“That’s not how it works,” my brother gritted out. “You lose the right to pick songs when you give up the aux cord.”

“Oh yeah?” I threw him a sideways glance. “You wanna walk back to Burbank?”

He rolled his eyes.

We stared at each other for a good minute. Obviously, communication for the Evans siblings was lacking.

“Alrighty then.” I checked the mirrors and pulled out of the parking spot. “Looks like everyone’s on board.”

Ashton started off with shuffling through some Blink 182 and Limp Bizkit songs. They weren’t my preferred bands to listen to, but I was too tired to shame my brother’s strange music choices. My state of mind was perpetual chaos. After tonight’s meeting with Isabella, there was no doubt Levi would be moving forward with his crazy documentary idea, and the upcoming workload scared the shit out of me. Sleepless nights and double the coffee. Like the good old days when it was only the two of us.

A Korn song took over the speakers when we were near Los Feliz. Our windows were down and Ashton stuck his arm out to catch the wind while he jerked his head to the beat. I laughed. We truly didn’t have moments like this anymore. Or ever. I envied his age. He was still on the brink of adulthood, full of hopes and dreams. He hadn’t been broken down and taken apart by life yet. And although he’d never shared any of his aspirations with me, I was certain he had some. Everyone did. I just wished I could make him act on his instincts, make him take responsibility, make him believe in himself.

“This shit never gets old,” he squealed as “Freak on a Leash” came to an end.

He skipped a few songs before settling on one of the earlier Hall Affinity singles. Frank’s voice was like a knife to my heart.

“Can you play something else?”

“Why?”

“Can you please play something else?” I squeezed my hands around the steering wheel.

“Fine.” He changed the song.

I was silent, then Ashton’s voice crawled into my head. “We’re still getting backstage passes, right?”

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