Page 56 of Severance

“Hey.” Dakota’s tone softens. “You know you can talk to me about things, right?” His fingers move into my hair and he cups the back of my head.

“I just…” I let out a loud, heavy sigh, not sure what he’s thinking. “My parents are a bit…overprotective.”

“Overprotective?” He draws his eyebrows together. “Of what? Me?”

“No.” I shake my head, trying to come up with an answer that will make sense.

“Then what? You’re not sixteen, are you?” He laughs a little. “Because I don’t know any sixteen-year-olds getting accepted to college.”

“No.” A giggle bursts out of me. “If I were sixteen, you’d be dead.”

“I see.” He pulls away, but his eyes never leave mine.

There’s a long pause.

I break the silence. “My father believes boys will somehow undermine my education.” I’m not sure if my explanation is good enough. “He’s Catholic,” I add, but I don’t say that I am, because the truth is, I don’t even know anymore. I don’t know if I’m what my father thinks a good Catholic girl should be. I feel misplaced in my own house sometimes.

Dakota rests his head against the headrest and stares up at the roof of his car. “So you don’t want him to know you’re seeing someone, or you don’t want him to know you’re seeing someone like me?”

“Maybe both,” I mutter, fumbling with the bottom of my coat. The ridiculousness of my response doesn’t hit me until he shoots me another question.

“So I’m not good enough to be your boyfriend.” His voice drops to a whisper. “Is that what it is?”

“No. That’s not what I meant!” The words tumble out of me in the form of a cry and I can sense the crack between us growing bigger with each second.

“Then why don’t you want your parents to know you’re seeing someone? I’m not some homeless guy without an education. I have a job and I have a place of my own. I believe I’m doing okay so far.”

I need a few moments to let everything Dakota just said settle in. “I got a full ride to a college I didn’t really like, and my father agreed to pay for the college I wanted to go to instead, under the condition I don’t move out.”

Dakota’s quiet. His Adam’s apple rolls under his skin as his face stays indifferent for what seems like an eternity, and I swear I would trade one of my kidneys right now to know what he’s thinking.

Does he not want to see me anymore?

“Jess and I are looking for a place downtown,” I mumble under my breath. “I got a job at Toro Bravo. I start after Christmas.”

Dakota straightens up in his seat, his eyes drifting back to my face. “You’re getting a job and an apartment so you can keep seeing me?” His voice grows deep.

My stomach is in tight knots. “Yes.”

“What about the tuition?”

“Not sure yet.” I shrug. There’s a part of me that hopes my father isn’t completely insane and won’t stop paying for college just because I move out, but there’s also a part of me that isn’t sure what to think or what to do anymore.

“Do you plan on keeping me a secret from your parents for the rest of your life?” The corner of his lips curve upward and his features soften.

I don’t know whether it’s his smile or the “rest of your life” part, but comforting warmth instantly fills my chest. “No. I won’t.”

“You’re going to have to tell them eventually”—he leans closer and whispers against my face—“Moonchild.”

His hand slides to the back of my neck, and a trail of goose bumps run down my spine. His touch sets my entire body on fire. “I know. I will when the time is right. I plan on doing it after the semester ends. I have to have some leverage at the very least. My GPA should be good enough.” I grin at him.

“Why are you so goddamn irresistible, even when you’re ashamed of me?” Dakota’s lips press against mine.

“I’m not ashamed of you.” My breath blends with his and it’s such an exquisite feeling, such a rush.

“Do you want to see my place?” he murmurs, kissing the corner of my mouth.

I freeze. This is the first time since we started seeing each other openly that Dakota’s asked me to come to his apartment, and his question stirs a whole lot of mixed feelings in me. Jess says that when a guy invites a girl over, it means he’s dead set on sex, and I’m not sure I’m ready just yet. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, but we haven’t done anything except for kissing and holding hands.

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