Page 15 of Severance

“Atta girl.” Blaze chuckles. “I knew you had it in you, Cupcake Queen.”

A small part of me wonders whether this has been my nickname for a while or he just came up with it, but most of me is frozen from the cold and wants to crawl into my bed and never leave it.

“Aren’t you on antibiotics?” Mikah asks Luke.

“Fuck the antibiotics.”

There’s a long pause. The Jack makes another trip around our circle, and by the time it reaches me, there’s almost nothing left. I end up drinking the last of it.

“Finished?” Blaze checks the bottle.

“Yeah.” I clamp my lips together.

“Make a wish then, Cupcake Queen.”

“Okay.” I nod, my head starting to feel really fuzzy. “I think I’m drunk.”

“You’re all right. Let’s go,” Mikah says. “You’re going to freeze to death.”

I give the empty bottle to Blaze and follow Dakota’s brother back inside. It’s only when we reach the lobby that I realize I forgot about my wish.

* * *

There are no more speeches. People simply wander around—some look bored to death and some seem to be too busy trying out the snacks to care about the funeral—as if they’re pretending to be sad. And some, like Dakota’s parents, are distraught. The kind of distraught that makes your guts twist. It’s not hard to tell fake politeness from true grief. They’re as different as night and day.

I find the whole concept of a funeral, especially this one, overwhelming. It’s a lot of sorrow in one place, and that upsets me even more, shredding the last of my calm.

I’m hiding on a couch in the corner, right near the exit. In case I need to run. My head is spinning and my mouth is dry, but the pain in my hands has dulled and I’m pretty sure it’s because of the Jack Daniels.

I see Jess approaching me. She looks funny. She looks like two Jesses. Her dress is solid black and simple, like mine, and she hasn’t gotten as crazy with the makeup as she usually does when we go out.

Her parents are here too, which is a bit of a surprise because they’ve been traveling all over the country lately. I’ve literally almost forgotten what they look like.

“Hey.” She sits next to me and carefully takes my hand, as if it’s fine china. “Are you okay?”

“I think your boyfriend got me drunk,” I say, trying to hold in a hiccup while my gaze follows Mikah’s silhouette as it moves through the crowd. He’s shaking hands and accepting condolences, but there’s this particularly odd hint of devastation in his eyes that no one else here has. Can anyone see it besides me?

Jess is quiet and I can almost feel whatever it is we’ve had between us since we were kids falling apart. I’m not sure why exactly. Because her boyfriend lived and mine didn’t? That’s not really a valid explanation, but there’s nothing better I can think of right now. My mind’s been taking a lot of trips to some parallel universe lately.

“Do you want to come over this week?” Jess asks, rubbing my shoulder. “We can bake something.”

“I don’t feel like baking,” I confess. I don’t feel like doing anything at all.

“We can watch some movies.”

“Yeah. Movies are better.” They don’t usually require much thinking.

“Okay, so…do you want me to pick you up?”

“Text me tomorrow.” I turn to her and withdraw my hand from hers.

“Sounds like a plan.” She nods.

We sit in silence for a little while until I realize I haven’t mentioned my discovery to anyone. So I tell her, my voice barely holding. “Did you know Joseph Miller has a Wikipedia page?”

“What?” She stares at me and looks dumbfounded, along with some other strange expression I can’t read.

“He has his own Wikipedia page.”

---