Page 123 of Severance

I patiently wait for him in the hallway, ignoring the buzz of the crew and stares of the performing bands’ guests. My phone is hot in my hand and my dress feels thick and scratchy against my skin. I picked it because I wanted to wear something nice for Mikah tonight and because the dirty parts of my mind probably hoped for him to get creative with it again after the show. These things seem a little trivial right now.

“Is he out yet?” Al shouts from afar. His round silhouette lingers among the crowd as he makes his way back to me.

I shake my head and check the time. The set’s about to start.

“Here, babe.” Al hands me a laminate with a strained smile on his lips.

“Who’s Ned Morton?” I ask. My phone pings a couple of times as I put the lanyard around my neck. The texts are from Jess.

The shocked expression on Al’s face tells me I’d be better off asking Google.

“Honey.” He squeezes my shoulder. “If you’re going to date a rockstar, you need to know these things.”

I respond with a meek smile. My stomach squeezes from the mere idea of being on a date with Mikah. We’ve never had one and I wonder what it would feel like to be out with him, to hold his hand in public and to kiss him on the lips in the middle of the street in the pouring rain.

Al presses his ear to the restroom door and knocks. “Everything all right, big guy? You’re on in ten.”

Mikah steps out into the hallway a few moments later. His five o’clock shadow and the glint in his bloodshot eyes make him look tired, but probably not many will notice.

Al leads us through the backstage maze toward the stage area. The curtains are up and the lights are dimmed down just like during the Midnight Rust shows, but I can still see the heads of the audience through a small opening on the side. Panic is slowly rolling through me, wave after wave. I can’t tell if anyone appears sick enough to have brought a gun and it terrifies me.

One of the girls who works for Al hands Mikah a bottle of water. He drinks half of it, his face tense and serious.

Swallowing my anxiety, I reach up for his cheek to palm it. “It’s going to be okay.” There’s a tremble in my voice and my stomach is all knotted up. “You’ll do great.”

“I’m fucking nervous,” he mouths at me.

“Don’t be. You’re amazing.” I grab his hands and squeeze them in encouragement.

The hum of the backstage area muffles our whispers.

He leans in and presses his lips to mine. The kiss is innocent. It’s sweet and a little tingly with a pinch of cigarette smoke, and I relish the feel of it until the end of Mikah’s set. Until he’s back with me. Until we walk out into the busy street hours later, until his mouth finds mine again and we kiss for a long time on the crowded sidewalk. We kiss in front of everyone, we kiss slowly, like in the movies. With our lips barely touching, with our hands on each other, with our hearts tethered.

Epilogue

Three Months Later

I slide my notebook in my bag and turn to Jess. Her face is the definition of bored.

“I don’t understand why we need to take economics again if we took it in high school,” she whispers, rolling her eyes. Although I don’t believe the professor can hear her complaints or even cares, because ninety percent of the sophomores are of the same opinion.

Besides, we’re at the very back of the noisy classroom and whatever happens in the back usually stays there.

“Hey, birthday girl,” someone calls from behind me. “Invitation for tonight still open?”

I glance over my shoulder and see Mallory. Somehow, we ended up taking a bunch of the same classes this semester again.

She flashes me a big smile, and I return the gesture. Mine may not match hers, but I try. It’s something I promised myself I would do more often. I promised I would smile and be nice to people because there’s enough rudeness and ignorance in the world already.

Jess perks up. “Totally. Bring your boyfriend.”

I’m not entirely sure how the two became friends.

Mallory motions at Jess’s hair that’s now the color of blue orchids. “I love the new shade.”

“Thanks. I think I’m keeping this one for a while.”

During the summer, Jess attempted three different looks. I was shocked when she showed up for one of the meet-ups and it was bright green. It took some getting used to, but as soon as I started to feel adjusted to it, she changed the color to yellow. I don’t know if this is her idea of trying new things or just trying to find herself in the midst of all the chaos with the Joseph Miller case, but I do know I’ve gotten to love this version of Jess Tiller. I’ve gotten to love her drive and determination just as much as I used to love her obsession with finding me a suitable boyfriend.

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