Page 107 of Severance

“Of course.” C.J. puts on a small smile.

The second he begins to speak, my phone rattles against the table and I make the mistake of looking at it. Mikah’s name on the screen sends my heart into a tailspin. I can tell from the preview that the message is long, and because Mikah’s known for sending me nothing longer than two words at a time, it leads me to believe it’s important.

“I’m sorry,” I interrupt C.J.’s speech and tip my head toward my phone. “Do you mind?”

He gives me a voiceless nod.

My gaze flicks back to the screen and I open the text message. The letters in front of me begin to blur as I read. I feel the blood slowly draining from my face and my cheeks become numb.

“Would you like something to drink?” C.J. asks, the street noises muffling his words.

“I need to use the restroom,” I mumble, grabbing my purse.

His eyes are wide with panic as he watches me getting to my feet.

I rush away from the patio like my feet are on fire and read the message from Mikah again once I’m in the parking lot.

I need you to know this. I miss my brother. He didn’t deserve to die and if I could trade places with him, I would do it in a heartbeat. For him and for you.

I don’t want you to be mad at me for leaving. But please understand that I had to. I needed to think about everything I said the other night away from you because looking at you makes me lose my mind. I stand by my words. I don’t want you to seek me out if you can’t fully commit to being with me…really with me. Only with me. I know this may be too much to ask, but I also know that if I can’t have you the way he did—unconditionally—I don’t want to struggle to live up to his legacy. So it’s best we just say goodbye.

P.S. You can keep the hummingbirds. He would have wanted them with you.

The shock of the revelation makes all my emotions go haywire. I stand in the middle of the parking lot with my heart on the ground and my vision failing me until an obnoxious honking scatters the fuzziness in my head.

Hummingbirds? I don’t have the hummingbirds.

Stepping out of the way, I look at my phone again, my heart beating harder and faster. Mikah has never said this much to me before. These words are miserable and disturbing and they stay with me like a mean shadow as I drive home, scrambling with my thoughts, which are a huge mess of Dakota’s memories that range from insignificant to very important.

When I get to my house, I check our porch.

“Mom?” I rush inside, my eyes scanning the living room.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” she calls out over the clanking of the dishes and the hum of the radio.

“Where’s Dad?” I ask, walking into the kitchen, where there’s a big box on the counter with a shipping label on it.

“He’s in the back yard.” My mother stops slicing turkey and motions at the window above the sink. “A package came for you.” Her gaze follows me as I hurry to open the box.

My heart thunders like a caged animal as my hands rip at the top. Holding my breath, I begin to dig through the multiple layers of tissue paper. There, underneath all the packing material, are Dakota’s hummingbirds.

“What is this?” my mother steps closer and asks over my shoulder.

Excitement swirls in my stomach. “Watch.” I pull out one of the drawers to look for a small extension cord. “They’re lights.”

After we untangle all the hummingbirds, we lay the strand out on the counter, and I plug them into the outlet.

My mother’s face takes on a strange expression. She seems surprised. “Well, this is pretty. Who sent you these?”

“Mikah.” I brush my fingertips over the flickering birds.

“Did he now?” Concern hits her voice. “That was nice of him.”

“Mom, I need to go somewhere for a couple of days.”

“A couple of days?” She gasps, her eyes shifting to me. “Why so sudden? Who are you going with? Where to?” My mother throws a bunch of questions at me like a ball feeding machine as her mouth screws up in confusion.

“Seattle.”

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