Page 56 of The Meaning Of You

His expression sobered. “Is growing older something you think about a lot? Because I have to say it sounds exhausting.”

Maybe.“Of course not.” The lie earned me a knowing smirk and I groaned, “Okay, sometimes, yes. But it’s not about wanting to look younger, it’s about conserving what I have.”

Nick considered that. “You want to know what I think about when I look in the mirror?”

I did, more than he knew, and so I nodded.

Nick drove out a harsh sigh. “I think about Davis leaving that morning and not knowing how his life was about to change forever. Not knowing that he would never see me again, not in a way that really mattered. Not knowing that it was his last day of truly living.” Nick’s voice cracked and his expression crumbled. “Then again, the fucker was likely cheating on me, so what the hell would I know?” He gave a humourless laugh and reached for the plate of cookies, offering it to me. “Balance, right? I’m not saying I’m any better at it than you are, but isn’t getting older supposed to be about giving less fucks, not more?”

I stared at the remaining cookies then back at Nick. “Damn, you’re good.”

He grinned. “Right?”

I snatched a cookie from the plate and took a bite. It was delicious. “Go on then.” I pointed to the celery sticks with my half-eaten cookie. “Balance.”

Nick sighed and eyed the celery sticks with obvious distaste. “If I choke on one of these things and die, I’m blaming you.”

I grinned. “I’ll take that risk. Besides, you’ll be dead. What are you gonna do?”

“Haunt you.” Nick finished the celery stick wearing an expression that bordered on disgust. “Happy now?”

I nodded. “Delirious.”

He eyed me warily. “All bullshit aside, do you really think I’m reading too much into this?”

Did I?I thought about the question before answering, “Honestly, I don’t know. I get why you think he was having anaffair, but it all feels too much. Davis could’ve seen someone without going through all this other rigmarole. I mean, who gets a new laptop under a new account just to keep an affair on the down-low? A new phone? Sure. But this kind of reads like one of Davis’s spy novels.”

Nick’s gaze drilled into mine. “You really think so?”

Not wanting to offer false hope, I said, “In truth, I don’t know, but like I said, the whole thing feels... off somehow.”

His eyebrows bunched. “Explain?”

I wriggled more upright. The move brought our knees together and that sizzling point of contact returned. Whether Nick realised or not, neither of us moved. “Well, for a start, I don’t buy this bullshit about two robberies in completely different locations being bad luck,” I told him. “No one is that unlucky, Nick. They have to be connected.”

His expression wavered just long enough for me to know the idea had occurred to him as well. “But if they’re connected, then it means someone followed me today, the same someone who broke into the townhouse. That’s a bit of a stretch, wouldn’t you say?”

I shrugged. “Any more than you thinking Davis was having an affair?”

Nick grimaced, that earlier bewilderment back in his eyes.

I rested my hand atop his. “I’m sorry. That was harsh. I agree the theory is a bit out there, but I think it’s worth considering, don’t you? And if you include the break-in after the accident, then that’s three, Nick. That can’t be coincidence.”

Nick’s gaze narrowed and I could see his mind working. “But that was so long ago.”

“I know,” I agreed. “But hear me out. Davis has an accident and your house gets broken into, right?”

Nick nodded.

I continued. “Then he dies and it happens again. And now, on the first day you visit his writing hideaway since the accident, you get mugged? Come on. Tell me that doesn’t sit uncomfortably for you, especially when the common denominator in all three is Davis.”

Nick sat there shaking his head. He opened his mouth like he was about to argue, then closed it again. Finally, he fell back against the cushions and closed his eyes.

“Nick?”

He raised a hand. “Just give me a minute.”

I reached for the jug of water to refill my glass, saw the driver’s licence and passport sitting alongside, and picked them up instead. The licence photo was unusually flattering, showing Davis to be a handsome man with dark eyes and a cheeky edge to his expression.

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