Page 18 of The Meaning Of You

“For being a millennial punk. Now I really need to leave or I won’t have enough time to visit before Shirley goes to dinner. And can we please pretend this whole conversation never happened? I’d feel much more comfortable that way.”

“You wish,” Gazza said far too happily. “But go on, leave. Unless you want to continue our discussion now?”

“Hell no.”I stared at him a moment longer until a small, cryptic smile began to tug at the corners of his mouth. Something had just shifted in our relationship. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what, but it smelled a lot like genuine friendship. Not the boss/employee camaraderie I was used to but something deeper. Twenty years my junior and Gazza had just handed my emotional arse to me on a platter. Gotta respect that, especially since he wasn’t wrong.

“Go!” he repeated, shooing me with his hands.

And so I did, and the sound of his chuckling followed me into the house.

In just under thirty minutes,I was breezing through the automatic doors of Golden Oaks and into reception. Spotting Nick through the glass wall opposite, I slowed. Something about the set of his body—slumped on a bench in the pretty courtyard garden, his face in his hands. My gaze shot to Jerry, sitting behind the desk, and her face said it all.

“Davis is gone,” I said, statement more than question.

She nodded and came around the desk to join me. “He passed a couple of hours ago. We’ve been expecting it all day.” She followed my gaze through the window. “He’s been sittinglike that pretty much ever since.” The aching sadness in her tone was unexpected. “They were all there when it happened.”

“Maggie too?” I checked. Davis’s ex-wife had come the minute Davis had taken a turn for the worse the week before, sharing the vigil with Lizzie and Nick as Davis slowly declined. Their close relationship was surprising but also reassuring.

Jerry nodded. “She left about ten minutes ago.”

Then it hit me. Davis had been dead two whole hours? They’d been expecting it all day? I checked my phone for any messages from Nick but there was nothing. I ignored the sting of that. So what if we’d talked at length several times a week, whenever we bumped into each other over the last month and a half; that didn’t make me friend and confidant material. It just made me... ridiculous.

“And what about Samuel?” I asked, knowing Nick’s brother-in-law, head of the Auckland police maritime unit, had been extremely close with his brother.

Jerry’s gaze flicked toward the hall. “He and Lizzie are still in with Davis. They’re terribly cut up. Wait here a minute.”

She left and I studied Nick’s profile through the glass as I waited, my heart breaking for him. However much a person might hope for a loved one to be at peace, when the moment actually came, it still had to be devastating.

Jerry reappeared with two coffees in her hands. “Take these and see if you can get him to talk.”

I gave her my best eye-roll but took the coffees anyway. “I’m far more likely to get a punch in the face.”

She snorted and patted my arm. “Try. Lizzie says you have the touch with him.”

I jolted at her words. “Lizzie said what? Christ. I hope she doesn’t think I’ve crossed a line somewhere.”

“She doesn’t,” Jerry reassured. “To be honest, I think she’s relieved that he’s been talking to anyone.”

I huffed. “To imply Nicktalkswith me is being generous. Nick doesn’t reallytalkabout Davis other than general updates, or about anything personal. Mostly we chat about inconsequential stuff—rugby, restaurants, the news, books, his cat, things like that.”

“That’s a lot more than others have managed to get out of him recently, believe me. So go see if you can work some of that magic.” She gave me a gentle push. “I’ll keep the first-aid box handy.”

I resisted her efforts, still staring at Nick through the glass. He hadn’t moved a muscle. “Fine,” I relented. “I’ll try. Can you tell Shirley I might be a little while?”

Jerry nodded. “I’ll have her dinner sent to her room and you can join her when you’re done.” She followed my gaze back to Nick. “God, it rips your heart out, doesn’t it?”

It absolutely did.

CHAPTER FOUR

Nick

I sensedMadigan’s presence the second he stepped into the courtyard. The man had an odd sense of calm that he carried into whatever space he occupied—a stillness that had the strange ability to settle the storm that had raged inside me for as long as I could remember, right back to when my mother had chosen safety for herself over me. As the years passed, I understood her choice more and more, but childhood pain isn’t easily fixed.

Davis had been the only other person to affect me in that way, which I found deeply unsettling. But it had been different with him. Davis found my churlishness amusing, even a challenge. He’d joke and tease until his eternally optimistic outlook on life, his casual air, and his refusal to take me seriously had made it hard to stay angry... mostly.

Because I had a few superpowers of my own, including the unenviable ability to completely disregard all the obvious warning signs that I was about to cross the line into deep relationship doo-doo shit until it was too late, likewaytoo late, and without anything remotely resembling a lifejacket, let alone paddle. But enough about that.

Madigan’s superpower was much more subtle than Davis’s but had the same result. Davis consciously engaged with me, jollying me along until he’d undermined whatever had pissed me off. Madigan’s approach was completely different. His self-contained quiet centre soothed without effort. But if that didn’t work, he simply called me on my bullshit, no holds barred. It was... refreshing.

---