Page 93 of Sass

“Rubbish.” Rhys shot me a look. “You’d be a great dad.”

I rolled my eyes at the ridiculous notion, then thought of Susie and sighed. “Yeah, maybe.” I couldn’t fucking believe I’d actually said that, and even Rhys looked surprised. But in truth, I’d been tossing the idea around in my head for two weeks, and to my amazement, I’d found I didn’t exactly hate the idea. At least not if I put Leon in the picture.

“Okay, so whataren’tyou telling me?” Rhys pressed. “If it’s not Leon, then what the hell is up with you?”

The ulcers on the inside of my cheek grew a little bigger as Rhys waited me out, something he was far too good at. He’d accept my silence with no questions asked, I knew that. But when I thought of what the afternoon held, I figured the day sucked anyway.

“Okay, get yourself comfortable,” I instructed.

He did. And then he listened without interruption as I vomited the whole sorry mess once again. And when Drew passed by the glass, time and time again, clearly checking on me, I figured I’d be telling it again in the near future.

When I was done, Rhys was quiet for a bit, which gave me time to stuff my emotions back into that black sack and sit on it.

And when he finally spoke, it was with a gentleness that almost undid me. “I, of all people, understand just how hard that was for you. And you’ve done your work, which means you don’t need me unloading any suggestions. You know the risks.”

I nodded.

“And I won’t say I didn’t suspect something must’ve happened to you.” His words were careful. “You never talk about your family. You deflect and move on. And your passion for my... issues and Alec’s had to come from somewhere. But yes, I get your concerns about the whole domestic and relationship thing. I never saw that in my future either. Never believed it was possible, not for me. And so I never let myself want it. Much safer that way, right?”

I swallowed hard, not trusting myself to speak.

Rhys took my hand. “People like us. People who have been through the kind of stuff we have for whatever reason, we see the world a little differently. It’s just another thing those fuckers steal from us. We stop trusting the universe, trusting people, trusting that we deserve what other people have, or that we don’t have what it takes to love someone in the same way that others do. That’s not to say a white picket fence is for everyone. And maybe you don’t see a family or a long-term relationship in your future for a whole lot of other reasons. But I’d want to make sure of that before I walked away. I’d be fighting for whatever made me happy, Kip. And if Leon makes you happy, even knowing all those dreams of his that scare you, then that’s at least worth paying attention to.”

I couldn’t do anything but nod.

“Please tell me Leon’s going with you today?”

Another nod.

“Good. Then I’ll keep my phone close in case you need me. How about that old therapist of yours?”

“I’ve got his contact details, just in case. But I figured I’d book an appointment in a week or so, regardless.” I wasn’t stupid. There’d be fallout from the afternoon one way or another. And maybe I’d talk about Leon as well.

Look at me. All grown up and shit.

Rhys nodded his approval and got to his feet. “Well, that’s something, at least.” He got up from the chair and opened his arms. “Now give me one of those godawful hugs you lot seem to love so much.”

I stood and walked into his arms. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He slapped my back and wriggled free, giving a visible shudder. “Ugh. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to that.” He studied me, as worried as I’d ever seen him. “Two things. One—” He counted off on his fingers. “—the design problem wasn’t your fault. Let it go. You’re an excellent manager and I wouldn’t swap you for the world. And two, be careful today. Remember who you are and the incredible person you’ve become. And let Leon be there for you. Let him help you. From experience, I can assure you they don’t always get it right, but they don’t have to. Having their love and support means every fucking thing in the world.” He held my gaze, then kissed me on the cheek and left waving his phone in the air. “I’m here if you need me.”

The minute he was gone, I dropped the office blinds and slumped in my chair, glaring at the stack of shirts on my desk. I’d fucked up and nothing Rhys said would convince me otherwise, but maybe it wasn’t the end of the world. Maybe he was right. And maybe I could stop making so many assumptions about myself and my future and just let life happen for a change. After all, Rhys had managed to let go a little, and he was an even bigger control freak than me.

But it was too much for today. In an hour or so, I’d be face to face with my uncle for the first time in almost ten years, and not freaking the hell out was going to take every scrap of concentration I had. I hadn’t warned James I was coming. I hadn’t called to make sure he’d be there or be alone. Mostly because I didn’t want him calling in the family cavalry. If there were other cars there, I’d wait them out or try another day, although I wasn’t sure my nerves would survive that last one.

If the whole thing imploded, then so be it. At least I’d have an answer, even if it was that James still didn’t give a shit. Leon had been right when he’d said this had to be about me. I didn’t give a fuck what my uncle said. I wasn’t scared of him. I’d done my work and I hadn’t been that vulnerable kid in a long, long time. I might still have my issues, but there was nothing left for James to take away.

On the other hand, there were some choice things I needed to say to him, and that was all I wanted out of the visit. The chance to say them. Whether I got the opportunity, who knew? But I was damn well going to try.

* * *

Leon

“Breathe, baby.” I rested my hand on Chris’s jiggling knee in an effort to soothe him. He’d been jumping out of his skin ever since I’d arrived at Flare, and we’d been sitting in his Mini—an act of contortion on my part—and parked on the side of the quiet country road outside his uncle’s cottage for over ten minutes, scoping the place out.

This was not the Chris I knew, not by any stretch of the imagination, and I wondered again if this was really a good idea. “You don’t have to do this,” I reminded him. “We can turn around and drive back to your place and have a nice afternoon curled up with a movie.”

Chris turned his laser-focused gaze away from the cottage to face me, his expression one of dogged determination. It made me want to wrap him in cotton wool and tuck him away for safekeeping. But this was his call. My job was to be there for him, to step in if it was needed, and nothing was going to take me from that.

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