Page 90 of Sass

Stopped and waited.

For me.

To say something.

Anything.

But all I could do was sit there and stare at him. I gave breathing a go because that was good, right? And while I breathed, I tried to formulate a response; any damn words would’ve done, but my brain was on total lockdown. And the longer I sat there, the smaller the room grew. Pressing in. Suffocating. And with it, Leon’s resolute expression wavered, the nervous hope in his eyes slowly dimming.

Oh god.I was royally screwing up. “Please, don’t.” I lifted the corners of his downturned mouth into a slightly creepy smile. “I’m not freaking out. I promise.” He arched a disbelieving brow and I winced, my cheeks warming. “Okay, so maybe I am, a little. But Jesus, some warning next time, yeah? I’ve barely mastered the whole boyfriend idea—”

“Mastered is pushing it a bit.” He attempted a grin and missed by a mile.

“Yeah, well, okay, so I’m a work in progress. But that’s what I mean. You’ve kind of stunned me, and I don’t know what to say right now except, thank you and I’m so fucking flattered. And yes, I know where you stand now. And that’s okay too. But I’m not ready to give an answer to any of that, not yet. I just...” I trailed off with a sigh and he dropped his head.

Fuck.

“Leon.” I tipped his chin up with my fingers until he met my eyes. “I’m not saying no or that I don’t want you.”

“Aren’t you?” He looked so fucking miserable.

“No, I’m not,” I said as forcefully as I could. “Listen to me. You have this whole future planned in your head that you’ve somehow made me a part of, and I love that you’ve done that, kind of, butI’mnot clear about...anything. Not to mention you’re at some kind of emotional crossroads with your family, and there’s Caitlyn’s anniversary next week, and you’re still dealing with your grief—”

“None of that’s got anything to do with how I feel about you.” His eyes blazed.

I sighed and took a second to think. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m hardly the poster boy for stable emotional health right now, either. And when I think about you, aboutus, it sets off a jumble of emotions like a damn washing machine.” I cupped his cheeks. “But what Idoknow, what I’m sure of, is that you make me feel safe and cared for, something I haven’t had in a long time. And Lord knows our chemistry is off the charts. So, this is menotwalking away. I’m simply saying, I’m not there yet, whereverthereis, love or not. I don’t know and I can’t promise, but I’m determined to find out.”

He hesitated, then nodded. “All right. I can work with that.”

Thank god.I lowered my lips to his and put everything I couldn’t say and didn’t understand into that one kiss, willing him to understand how very much I did care. How much I wanted him. How important he was. And as he opened for me and deepened the kiss, I felt the tension bleed from his body until we were both lost in a swell of emotions and I finally pulled away, breathless, and with my heart thundering in my ears.

“So... until tonight then?” He traced my lips with his finger.

I nodded. “Yeah, until tonight.”

He finally smiled worth a damn and my world tipped back on its axis.

And that night, in a bedroom lit by candles, Leon kept his promise and took me apart, slowly and effortlessly, piece by glorious piece, until everything faded into the warm press of his tongue, the heat of his mouth around my cock, and the relentless drive of a shiny pink dildo in my arse. Leon played my body like he’d been born with the music in his blood, until I surged down his throat on a soft cry and with a heart full of hunger for something I couldn’t quite reach.

He swallowed every drop like it was too precious to waste and then licked me clean—my cock, my balls, my taint, right back to my hole where he lingered, slipping his finger in and out like it fascinated him. “So hot.” He breathed the words over the sensitive opening and then kissed it softly.

And he kept on kissing: my balls, my cock, the scars on my thigh, my belly, my nipples, and both shoulders, crawling up my body until he stared down at me like he was trying to see into my soul. And finally, he lowered his mouth to mine, soft and inquisitive at first, then hard and demanding, his tongue sweeping through like he was cleaning house, and I was flinging open every door I had, meeting him stroke for stroke, finding a home I’d never even thought to look for.

Was this love?I had no fucking idea. All I knew was it felt so damn good.

And when he was done, Leon rolled me onto my side facing the wall and wrapped me in those safe arms. His big hot body stretched the length of my back and his knees tucked high behind mine until I was cradled and safe. Then he pressed tender kisses to every scrap of skin he could reach, humming contentedly like I was all he needed in the world.

Me.The idea blew my mind. The responsibility, utterly terrifying.

But that didn’t make it feel any less good. Any less right.

Leon went quiet at my back, the gentle stroking of his fingers on my belly the only sign he was awake. One of the larger candles sputtered and died, the room growing heavy in its wake. Heavy and warm and dark and... safe.

“I’ve decided.” I breathed the words softly against my pillow. “I’m going to see James.”

Leon stilled. Then he rolled me onto my back, flicked on the bedside lamp, and perched on one elbow to study me. “Okaaaay.” His tone was understandably wary.

“Forme.” It had taken me two weeks of flip-flopping around about the idea, but I was sure on that point at least. “I want to tell him what an arsehole he is, to his face, before he dies.”

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