Page 79 of Sass

“Sooooooo, you and Leon, huh? I thought it was just a one-time thing.”

I sighed and fell into the chair opposite, cracking the can and taking a long swallow. I didn’t even like Coke, but it provided temporary reprieve from answering. “It was meant to be.” I twirled the can on my jeans. “But then a second time kind of... happened, and then a third, and now—” I threw up my hands. “Well, now, who the fuck knows what it is? Certainly not me.”

He studied me for a few seconds, then grinned from ear to ear. “It looks good on you.”

I frowned. “What?” I took another slug of Coke and winced at the taste. God, I hated the stuff.

“Being with someone. Falling for someone.”

I snorted the Coke out my nose, down my jacket, and all over my desk. “Shit.” I grabbed a Kleenex and madly set about mopping it up. “What the fuck are you talking about? We’ve barely even been talking a couple of weeks.” I threw the Kleenex in the bin and glared at my friend.

Rhys didn’t bat an eye. “That might be so, but you’ve been eyeing each other for two years. Two long, frustrating years. At least it felt that way for those of us on the side-lines. You’re not strangers, Kip. No matter how much you argue the point. You know each other better than you think you do.”

I scowled, hating that he was right. The whole rushed-time thing had been an excellent fall-back excuse. “Andyou’re sitting in my chair, by the way.”

He ignored me. “You forget that I know you, Kip. And I have never seen you look at a guy like you were looking at Leon when I walked in just now. Not to mention, I have nevereverseen you hold hands with...anyone.”

My gaze slid to the wall, which seemed suddenly very shouty. Fucking burnt sienna. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I hold hands with plenty of people.”

“Who?”

Bugger.I took another sip of Coke and muttered, “You wouldn’t know them.”

He laughed. “Don’t lie to me. You suck at it. You’re too damn honest. Besides, this is good, Kip.”

I bristled. “Good? Why? Because then I can become like you lot? All coupled up and happy. What if I don’t want that, Rhys? Not everyone wants to have their hand held through life—” I caught the flinch in his expression and stopped short, wanting to claw every word back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” I reached across the desk and covered his hand with mine. “I’m happy for you and Beck. I really am. And you’re the strongest person I know. I just don’t know if that’s whatIwant.”

He stared at me for a long minute before his shoulders finally relaxed. “I get that you might see things that way.” His tone was uncommonly cool. “But loving someone isn’t a fucking character flaw, Kip. It’s an incredibly courageous act of trust and faith in another person, as opposed to running away from every relationship possibility that crosses your path.”

And ouch.I guess I deserved that.

He took a breath and softened his tone. “Look, I don’t know who hurt you and I don’t need to know. But I recognise the signs. Do what you want, Kip, you always do. But don’t throw away a chance at something special with Leon, if that’s what this is about, just because you’re scared. I spent seventeen years running away from relationships, and I’m so fucking glad that people like you and Hunter steered me in the right direction when Beck finally came along. So, maybe you should listen to your own advice. You deserve to be happy, however that looks for you. And whoever snags your heart will be one of the luckiest men in the world. Because you will love hard, my friend, just like you do everything else in life. And I’m sorry if I put you on the spot.”

Oh god. Friends were the absolute worst.I dropped my forehead to the desk and banged it a couple of times, welcoming the sting. Hopefully it would pass as an excuse for the welling tears.

Rhys’s warm hand landed on my shoulder, and I chanced a look up. “I’m a fucking mess.” I stood to face him. “And I’m so sorry for what I said.”

He smiled kindly. “You like him that much, huh?”

I sighed and perched my butt on the corner of the desk. “To be honest, I don’t know how I feel, only that he makes me feel...”

“Safe?” Rhys offered.

“God, I hate it when you do that,” I grumbled. “He’s got me so screwed up in my head, I can’t think straight.”

Rhys snorted. “As I said, you like himthatmuch, huh?”

I let out a sigh. “Maybe.”

He nodded. “Close enough. You know you can tell me anything, right?” His eyes remained steady on mine and I nodded.

“I do. And thanks.”

“Anytime. Now, I think someone’s waiting for you.” Rhys nodded to where Leon was lounging against the service desk, watching us. “And would he really have ripped me a new one if I’d got you upset?”

I smiled at the complicated man watching me from the other side of the glass. “Oh yeah. In a heartbeat.” The thought made me itch to kiss him.

“Good.” Rhys nodded in satisfaction. “You deserve nothing less.”

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