Page 6 of Sass

“Shhh,” Jenn warned, then sighed as Susie continued to chant in a marginally quieter voice. “You do realise that at her next playgroup, she’s gonna come out with that and half the mums are gonna think she said something else.”

The plumber chuckled and I steered Jenn into the other room out of earshot. The change in scenery also distracted Susie from her shouting which was a win no matter how you looked at it. “I hardly think I’m your main source of concern, in that regard.”

Jenn’s shoulders slumped. “Believe me, I know. Kev and I instituted a swear jar at home. We had to do something after Susie called the neighbour’s yappy dog a ‘little shit’ in front of half the street.”

I choked on a laugh and Jenn flashed me a glare. Both she and my brother, Kevin, swore like troopers. It would be a miracle if Susie made it to her first day at school without a catalogue of curse words in her cute little pocket that would put a sailor to shame.

I made no effort to hide my amusement. “And how’s that working out for you?”

Jenn flushed and looked away. “It’s a work in progress. But on the plus side, our holiday fund is looking fu—” She glanced at Susie and winced. “—freaking awesome.”

I laughed and kissed her on the cheek. “Don’t sweat it. You’re great parents.” I kissed Susie’s button nose and she giggled. “You want me to take her? She’s hardly a lightweight these days.”

Jenn waved me off. “She’s been a bit clingy lately. I spend half my day with her hanging off my leg.” She studied me. “What are you going to do for today? You can’t tattoo without running water.”

I glanced into the bathroom where the plumber was still busy and blew out a sigh. “Cancel all today’s clients for a start. Then I’ll have to figure out where I’m gonna bunk down until I get the keys to my new place. Fu—” I shot a look to Susie. “Flip if I know where. Mum’s, probably. God knows, I’ve been trying to avoid that. Thirty-five years old and moving back in with my parents.”

Jenn chuckled. “You could always stay with us.”

I shook my head. “Thanks, but you guys only have two bedrooms and the last thing you need is an extra body in the house. You barely get enough rest as it is.”

She sighed. “True. But Susie loves you. Honestly, it wouldn’t be an issue.”

“No,” I said firmly. “But I might be a frequent babysitter to get out from under Mum’s eagle eye.”

“Well, I’m not saying no to that.” Jenn chuckled. “Do you think you could run to a Saturday overnight? Then maybe Kev and I can book a hotel and have very loud monkey sex with no interruptions from the patter of tiny feet. I can’t even remember what that kind of freedom feels like.”

I barked out a laugh. “Deal. But just so you know, I’m available for thatanytime. All you have to do is ask.” I groaned. “Mum’s gonna invite every single person she knows to dinner while I’m there, isn’t she? And that’s just the women. For the men, she’s likely to troll the internet.”

Jenn snorted. “Truth. She just wants to see you happy.”

I nodded. “I know she does.”

She shot me an evil grin. “But speaking of blind dates, Kev mentioned there’s a new guy at his work he thinks might be a good match—”

I clamped a hand over her mouth. “No way. Bad enough dealing with Mum’s matchmaking. I don’t need my brother setting me up as well.”

Her eyes danced with mischief. “Then you shouldn’t have told us you were binning your whoring ways to look for mister or missus right. Althoughmybets are on the mister, just saying.”

I shot her a glare. “I never said that.Yousaid that. I simply said I was getting tired of the club scene, and that maybe, just maybe, I might try looking for something... different. I never said anything about... marriage. Jesus, I can hardly even say the word.” I’d never been so happy for the short beard that covered my flaming cheeks.

She grinned and bit her lip. “Riiiight. So, how isthewholedifferentthing going for you? We liked that Brant guy you were with a couple of months back. What happened to that?”

I narrowed my gaze. “We parted company. He was a nice guy, but there wasn’t enough there, you know? No real chemistry.”

Jenn looked thoughtful. “Well, that sucks. It would’ve been great to have a builder in the family. Very... convenient.” I rolled my eyes and she grinned. “Relax. You’ll find someone. You’re a great catch.”

I huffed dispiritedly. “Yeah, right. Thirty-five-year-old tattoo artist with two business loans, a mortgage, and a tad lacking in any relationship experience—aka doesn’t know what the fu—heck he’s doing? I’m sure that’ll bring the boys and girls running to my yard, right?”

Jenn laughed and patted my cheek. “Well, when you put it like that...” Her expression turned serious. “Look, don’t fret. Mr or Mrs Right is out there. You’ve ticked the most important box in your search—stop wasting time fucking around.”

Susie beamed up at her mother.

Jenn winced and corrected herself, “Flapping, flapping around.” She spun Susie in her arms and Susie laughed delightedly. “Silly Mummy got the word wrong,” Jenn lied to her daughter with a smile on her face.

I snorted. “Yeah, good luck with that.”

“Do you want me to cancel your bookings while you call JJ and Tyson so they don’t come in? Tell them I can call their clients as well, if they want.” My sister-in-law was an organised force of nature, which was just as well since my brother could barely spell the word calendar.

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