Page 54 of Sass

“Cheeky shit.” I nipped his nose and he snuggled back against me. “Did James know you were gay?”

Chris hesitated. “Looking back, I think he must’ve guessed. Not that I’d have ever contemplated coming out. As I said, being gay wasn’t exactly acceptable in our house. Or church. I’d overheard my parents and others at church whispering about another boy in our congregation, and it wasn’t pleasant. I’d known this boy wasn’t straight the first time I’d checked him out and been caught and had the look returned. There was no way I was going to risk those kinds of conversations about me, especially since my parents were already starting to look sideways at me. I decided early on to bide my time until I left home.”

“I think I’d have done the same,” I agreed.

“Yeah, well, my plan didn’t exactly work out.” He shuffled back so I could finally see his face, his expression set, like he was determined to get the whole story out.

“You don’t have to—”

“I know,” he said quickly. “And believe me, I’m fucking shocked that I’m telling you any of this. But now I’ve started, I want to finish.”

“All right, but if it gets too much...”

“I know.” He took a deep breath and continued. “Time at the farm was like this bubble where I got to feel okay about me. Like maybe I wasn’t this weird kid after all. Like he got me. Don’t get me wrong, I hated the whole chicken-in-a-cage thing, but I liked being treated like an equal for once, like I mattered, I guess. I felt... special.” He shot me a look.

I was liking less and less where the conversation was going, and Chris was starting to fidget. I pressed a kiss to his head and steeled myself.

“But just after I turned fifteen and was helping James in the machinery plant that controlled the industrial automatic feeding system, he... kissed me.”

And even though I knew something was coming, my hand froze mid-stroke on his back and anger erupted in my brain. I clutched him to me and growled, “Fucking hell.”

Chris’s voice grew small and his gaze skittered on and off my face. “I didn’t see it coming. I had no fucking idea. I was handing him tools, and he’d been joking about getting his head stuck in the small hole he was working in, and then the next thing I knew he had me backed against the wall and was kissing me.”

I blinked hard, trying not to completely lose my shit.

“But that’s all that happened. Just the kiss,” he rushed to reassure me. “But I was so stunned, it took me a while to get my head around what he was doing.” Chris played with the hair on my chest and avoided my eyes. “I remember him telling me how beautiful I was. How he knew I wasn’t straight and how hard it must be for me with my family. That no one had to know. That he could help—” He rolled his eyes. “—for fuck’s sake.”

“I can’t fucking believe this,” I ground out. “What an arsehole.”

“I know, right? And I was terrified. I was just a skinny little kid. And I trusted him. All that crap you believe at that age because you don’t really know how the world works and you trust the people who are supposed to be your family.”

His voice faltered and I wanted to hurt something, badly. I settled for taking his hands in mine, gently squeezing until he finally looked up.

“When I finally got my head in the game, I told him to fuck off and kneed him in the balls. I still don’t know where I found the courage, but I remember the shock on his face as clear as day. Then I shoved him out of the way and took off back to the house with him shouting at me that I better not say anything.”

“Fucker.” I tipped his chin up. “What happened?”

“I got to the house and planted myself next to George and pretended to watch him while he played his video game, hoping James would leave me the fuck alone. I didn’t know what the hell else to do. James came inside not long after, but he ignored me and disappeared into his office, and all I could think wasthank God. If he was going to pretend like nothing had happened, that suited me just fine. I was already hiding the fact I was gay from my parents. How the hell could I tell them something like that?

“I’m so fucking sorry.” I brushed a lock of hair from his eyes and tugged the covers over his shoulders.

His eyes clouded. “It was just a kiss.”

I ground my teeth and growled. “That makes zero fucking difference and I’m pretty sure you know that. You were fifteen, underage. He was an adult, and your uncle, and you didn’t consent in any way.” I mustered all the outrage I felt. “That arsehole took advantage of the fact you were a little lost. He practically fucking groomed you.”

“Yeah, he did.” Chris gave a sharp nod, and I was relieved he understood. “When I talked to a counsellor a couple of years later, that came out pretty quickly, and looking back I can see it.” He blinked back angry tears.

“Did you tell anyone?”

“I hadn’t intended to, but...” He rolled his eyes. “Okay, so this is the bit where my family isn’t like yours. My parents were supposed to pick us up later that afternoon, so when I heard their car pull in next to the house about forty minutes later, I knew that couldn’t be good. Sure enough, I quickly found out that James had called them.”

I frowned and shook my head. “But why would he do that?” Then it clicked. “Oh, shit.I’m not going to like this, am I?”

Chris glanced away and was quiet for a moment before finally looking back, eyes glassy. “He must’ve been worried I was going to say something after what I did. He clearly hadn’t expected me to fight back. And so he told them first.Hisversion. He outed me as gay and said that I’d come on to him and tried to kiss him, and that he’d had to politely but firmly tell me no.”

“What the fuck?” Oh, I hated this guy. Five minutes alone with the arsehole would be all I’d need.

“Yeah, colour me shocked.” Chris blew the biggest sigh. “I was still in a hell of a state, and then to hear him lie like that and drop me right in it, well... my brain kind of shut down. I tried to tell them it was James and not me who’d initiated the kiss, but they weren’t listening. They already had their suspicions about my sexuality, and of course all gays are confused and deviants—” His eye-roll couldn’t have been bigger. “—and so what James said made some twisted sense to them.” Chris looked to the ceiling and went way too quiet.

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