Page 51 of Sass

“Just fine, thank you very much.” He burrowed into me again. “Did you hear me complaining?”

“No.” I nibbled his ear and he grunted and went quiet again. Long enough to make me nervous. “Penny for your thoughts?”

He took a moment to answer, which told me I wasn’t going to get an honest answer. Fine by me. I wasn’t about to tell Chris that I was a sparrow’s fart away from falling for him, either.

“I was thinking about your tattoos.” He tilted his head back so he could see my face. “And I have all the usual questions, I guess. Why you chose what you did? And why there’s a glaring blank spot on your left shoulder?”

I almost laughed. Trust Chris to cut through all the bullshit. I tugged the pillow under his head so he’d be more comfortable and kissed his forehead simply because I still fucking could.

“I guess I like themes,” I answered simply. “I’m not one for lots of disconnected designs. No shade on those who do, it’s just not me. I like the imagery to be cohesive, and I love nature. A forest theme was a no brainer. The wildlife doesn’t necessarily belong together, but each one has meaning for me. They represent people or events in my life.”

“Let me see.” Chris pushed me over onto my other side, facing away, and ran his fingers over my art.

My cock stirred, a surprise, considering I didn’t think it had an ounce of fight left in it.

Meanwhile, Chris listed off what he saw on my back. “A kiwi, black robin, eagle, weta, cheetah, kingfisher. There’s so many. It’s like one of those puzzles where you have to find all the hidden creatures.” His fingers slowed over the feathers. “But this one is different, right?” He tapped the tui feathers on my shoulder, like a fucking homing pigeon. “And then there’s the big elephant in the room.” He tapped the other shoulder, devoid of any art at all, because of course he did.

I hesitated before answering, debating how much I could let him in and still safeguard my heart. But when I didn’t answer straight away, his arm circled my waist and he kissed the bare shoulder. The unguarded sweetness of the gesture almost stole my breath.

“I’m sorry.” His lips moved gently against my skin. “You’re entitled to your secrets.”

The perfect fucking answer.

I sighed and relaxed back against him, letting myself be held. “It’s not a secret. I just don’t talk about it much.” Chris tightened his hold, his cheek still resting on my shoulder, and the extraordinary tenderness of the moment smashed through any remaining walls I was trying desperately to shore up.

This was a Chris I didn’t know. A Chris I’d never expected. A Chris I wanted a lot more of. And it was proving an even worse idea than I’d expected. It might even break me. But for the moment, Chris was still there, and I wasn’t going to waste time worrying about what was coming.

I placed my hand over his and threaded our fingers together. “The feathers are for my twin sister, Caitlyn. She died in a car accident seven years ago.”

Chris drew a sharp breath. “I’m so sorry. Were you close?” He huffed. “Scratch that. You were twins. Close whether you wanted to be or not, I’m guessing.”

I chuckled. “Pretty much, although wewerebest friends. Birds of a feather, everyone called us.”

He stilled. “Hence the feathers?”

I nodded. “And she loved tuis. I’d inked one on her back for her twenty-first birthday. They’re supposed to be messengers of the gods and goddesses, according to some, so it seemed a fitting choice when she was gone. Inking the whole bird didn’t feel right, but the tumbling feathers...” I trailed off and Chris pressed another hot kiss to my skin, this one right over a feather.

“And the blank space?” He ran his smooth cheek across my back to press his lips to the uninked skin.

“It’s blank, mostly because of where it sits, opposite Caitlyn’s tattoo. For some stupid reason I feel like whatever goes there has to balance her imagery in some way. When she was killed, it felt like someone chopped off half my body. I’d had no idea just how linked we’d really been until she wasn’t there anymore. This huge gaping hole ripped open in my life. Inallour lives.”

“I haven’t heard you talk about your other siblings much,” he pointed out.

“Rhys has met them, but you and I?” I elbowed him lightly. “Well, we’ve hardly been chatting over coffee the last couple of years, right? Shot barbs over our ramparts at each other, but talked? Not so much.”

He snorted. “You make an excellent point. We should remedy that.”

And so much more. But I kept the thought to myself. “You’ve met Kevin and Jenn and Susie, but I have another younger brother, Geoff, who lives on the North Shore, and Evie who lives in Brisbane. The anniversary of Caitlyn’s death is in a few weeks, and Evie always tries to come home for that. Maybe I’ll introduce you. It’s hard to believe it’s been seven years.”

Chris rested his chin over my shoulder, the warmth of his body pressed hard against mine, sending my heart tumbling. I was in so much trouble. He took a breath and asked, “Will you tell me what happened?”

I briefly considered saying no, then thought, fuck it. Maybe talking to someone not involved in any of it would help. Not talking about it sure as shit wasn’t.

I turned my face just enough to kiss him lightly on the lips and took a deep breath. “I was supposed to take Caitlyn to a party that night, a mutual friend, but I pulled out at the last minute when a mate invited me to go clubbing with him and a few others, instead. Caitlyn had moved back home while she was saving for a house deposit. Anyway, instead of taking an Uber, Caitlyn decided to catch a ride with her friend, Gina. It was a bad move. Gina was a good friend, but she wasn’t the world’s most focused driver. I’d have never gotten in a car with her driving if I had a choice. But I let my sister. What does that say about me?”

“That you’re human,” Chris quickly answered.

“That I was too fucking selfish,” I shot back. “Anyway, according to witnesses, Gina sailed through an intersection without looking, and a delivery van ploughed into the passenger side. Caitlyn died at the scene, while Gina walked away with a few broken bones.”

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