Page 18 of Sass

Kevin sighed, and the thickness in his voice when he finally spoke said everything about how much he loved me. “You’re a good man,” he said, like he was trying to imprint the words in my brain. “And you’re the best big brother a guy could ask for. But please stop punishing yourself. Maybe if you talked to someone. A... professional. It’s just a thought.”

I said nothing because I was too fucking scared that he was right. ThatIwas the problem. ThatIwas holding them back. I wanted to tell him that it was fine. That I understood. That I wanted to move on, just like they did. But the words wouldn’t come. There was only hot guilt and cold anger and a pain of grief that sliced through my heart like it was yesterday.

“I think you guys should do whatever makes you happy,” I finally managed, shocked at getting the words out at all without throwing up. “I’m going to the accident site and her grave, just like always, and after that, I really don’t know. I might see you back at Mum and Dad’s. I might not—”

“Leon, please,” Kevin pleaded. “Can’t we discuss it together, as a family?”

“Why?” I huffed angrily. “What’s there to discuss? You guys seem to have already made up your minds. Look, tell the others they have my blessing. Plant your tree, build your bench, whatever. I’m doing what we’ve always done, what I promised Caitlyn I would. I’m going to rememberallof it.”

“For fuck’s sake—”

“It’s fine. I’m not angry.”Like hell.“Tell everyone you tried but I’m not ready yet. And tell Jenn that I’m sorry about this morning. I’ll make it up to her.”

I ended the call without giving him a chance to reply, switched the phone to silent, and threw it on the couch. Then I headed for the shower to let the tears fall.

CHAPTERFIVE

Kip

“Haveyou seen those material samples that arrived yesterday?” I called out to Drew who’d just finished with a customer. “And what did you do with the sale signs?”

Drew watched two shoppers head for the fitting rooms with an armful of clothes and then popped his head through the open door. “The samples are exactly where I showed you earlier.” He pointed to the bunch of swatches on a chair, poking out from under the tarp I’d thrown on top of them. “And I put the sale signs back in the storeroom, exactly like you told me to.” He raised a very judgy eyebrow for one so young.

Well, shit.“Sorry.”

Drew fired me a pointed look. “No problem. But what the hell’s up with you today? You’ve been pissy as a caged alley cat ever since Rhys left barely twenty-four hours ago.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said loftily, reaching for the samples and starting to flick through them. And the fact I couldn’t look at the swathe of burnt sienna on my office wall without recalling Leon’s fresh scent, or the way his body had lounged invitingly against my door, had absolutely nothing to do with it.

“Well, can the grumpy arse routine, then,” Drew practically growled, forcing me to look up and admire his spunk. “You’re giving me wrinkles—almost as many as you.”

I swallowed a laugh and shot him a glare instead. “Very funny. I’m only seven years older.”

“That’s forty-nine in dog years,” he deadpanned, and this time I did laugh.

The kid made me proud. “Feeling brave today, I see.”

He shrugged. “You don’t scare me, Kip Grantham.”

And the crazy thing was, I believed him. Which only made me like him even more.

“You’re a teddy bear with a white-pointer smile.”

My jaw dropped in mock horror. “Hush your filthy mouth. You are never to use the wordsteddy bearin reference to me ever again, got it?”

He grinned and ignored me. “We’re doing fine on our own without Rhys, you know that, right? It’s not like he hasn’t been gone before. Our takings are great. I’m winning them over with my charm and stunning good looks. And you’re...” He hesitated and eyed me up and down. “Well, you’re being you. Selling a million things to people who didn’t know they needed them and scaring away the mice. What more could you want?”

I bit back a smile. He really was coming along nicely. “Your charm and good looks, huh?”

He gave a dramatic flick of his hair. “It’s a burden, what can I say? I try to use my power for good.”

I chuckled. “And the world is deeply indebted. But right now, you can take that charm and use it on the coffee maker. The gay chain of command stipulates that you provide me with one on a regular basis. And bring those sale signs you hid from me as well.”

Drew snorted and raised a brow. “The gay chain of command?”

I waved a hand in the air. “It’s like the army but with glitter and a way more interesting bedside drawer.”

Drew saluted. “Can’t argue with that. Although I’m not sure Rhys knows anything about thistheoreticalgay chain of command since he’s the one who mostly gets the coffees.”

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