Page 16 of Like It's 1999

“These peopleare our friends.” Kate says. “And we’d love to get this mistake cleared up as quickly as possible.”

Short Cop gestures to the door. “Last chance.”

Will shakes his head. “‘The trust I have is in mine innocence, and therefore am I bold and resolute.’Henry VI, Part 2.”

At this, Tall Cop whips Will around and snaps handcuffs on him. Will’s and Kate’s jaws drop in surprise. I can’t even look at Alice, Deb or Pam. Whatever Kate’s sister paid these guys is nowhere near enough.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can’t afford an attorney, one will be provided to you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?” He pauses before adding, “City boy?”

This nod toDeliverancehas me literally biting my lip soIdon’t squeal like a pig, but Will just grits out, “No.”

Kate’s practically got steam coming out of her ears. “Don’t you have to tell him what he’s arrested for?”

“Oh, sorry. Uh…”

Short Cop saves his partner from breaking character. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Tall Cop, grasping for control, lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Will Talbot, you are under arrest for the crime of”—he clears his throat—“excessive quotation of Shakespeare.”

By the looks on their faces, both Will and Kate have totally been had. Kate’s groan is loud as she shakes a fist at Alice and me. Will just mutters, “Deb O’Rourke and Pam Salvatore, I’m gonna kill you.”

But then the rest of the crowd gets in on it, Spartacus fashion, everyone throwing out Shakespeare quotes. At least I assume that’s what they’re doing. I only recognize a few.

“‘To be or not to be!’”

“‘O, for a muse of fire!’”

“‘Wherefore art thou Romeo?’”

“‘Et tu, Brute?’”

Thankfully, both Will and Kate are still laughing when Tall Cop struggles to unlock the handcuffs, muttering, “Sorry, I never worked with this prop before.”

By the time Alice and I make it to Kate, Will is free and telling the waitress to get the “officers” whatever they want to drink.

Alice holds up a hand. “I voted for stripper cops.”

Kate moans. “Of course you did.”

I put my arm around Alice. “I would never have let that happen.”

Hands on hips, Kate aims a ferocious glare at me, then Alice, before casting it around the room. “So, who’s idea was it?”

Her mad face is convincing enough and she holds onto it long enough that I get worried. “I plead the Fifth.”

Even Alice’s smile has faltered by the time Kate drops her hands and grins. “You guys! That was beyond awesome. No one’s ever going to forget this wedding!”

Relieved, I grab my beer and raise it to Alice. “It was all her idea.”

Giving Alice a side hug, Kate says, “Aww, I’ve passed the torch.” Then, mad face back, she lifts a finger. “But that’s it for the weekend, right? My mother does not have the same sense of humor that I do.”

Alice shudders. “Don’t worry. Your mother terrifies me.”

When Kate raises a brow in my direction, I’m quick to answer. “Yep, me too.”

The next day, the wedding and reception go exactly to plan until Kate’s sister gets up to give a speech that quickly turns into a train wreck. Hands joined on the table between them—probably more in desperation than wedded bliss at the moment—both Will and Kate shake with barely held-in laughter. At least Alice and I can’t be blamed for this.

“Somebody should have cut her off a long time ago,” Alice mutters.

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