Page 10 of Like It's 1999

“Uh, okay. Is that a thing bridesmaids do?”

“No, it’s a thingKatedoes.”

“Kate Bishop?”

I throw a pretzel at him. “Yes, Kate Bishop. She may have acted all straitlaced at your stuffy investment firm, but Kate was the queen of pranks at Harvard.” I lean closer to him. “In fact, you didn’t hear it from me, but she told me once that if she’d known MIT was so famous for its hacks, she would’ve done anything to get in there.” I take a sip of my G&T. “In fact, she considered trying to transfer, but I talked her into staying and making her mark at Harvard.”

Steve shakes his head, his expression dubious. “I have a hard time picturing this version of Kate. What kind of pranks are we talking about? Like the weather balloon at the Harvard football game?”

“Hers were smaller scale for sure—mostly in our house or between rival houses. She’d recruit people to help, but it wasn’t like there was a whole secret society behind her, like at MIT.”

Steve rotates his bar stool so he’s facing me. All I can think about is whether he looks better in profile, where his straight nose and sharp brow contrast with his soft lower lip, or straight on, where you get the full force of his light blue eyes.

“I need an example.” He reaches across to knock on my forehead. “Hello? Anybody home?”

After swatting his hand away, I turn back to my notes.What were we talking about?Oh, right. Kate. Duh. The reason we’re here.“Well, one time, when these girls in a suite across the courtyard from ours went out of town for the weekend, she got into their rooms and attached a bunch of their stuff to the ceiling. It totally looked like the room was upside down. The looks on their faces when they came home? Wicked awesome.”

As he unties the sweater from around his shoulders and hangs it over the back of his barstool, he tuts in disapproval. “Kate Bishop breaking and entering. I can’t even believe it.”

“Another time she got all the girls in Westfield house—the super stuck-up girls—to sign up for a defensive driving course supposedly taught by Erik Estrada. Somehow, she found a guy who resembled him to teach an actual class. One of the girls bragged about sleeping with Erik Estrada for months afterward. I think Kate lost money on the whole thing, but it was totally worth it.”

“Well, I guess we can try and come up with a prank.” He taps on my notebook. “But we also have to cover everything she expects us to. What else is on your list?”

I pat him on the shoulder. “Oh Steve, you’re such a good little bridesmaid.”

He sits up straight. “I told you. It’s bridesman.”

“I don’t think that’s a word.”

“Just because I made it up doesn’t mean you can’t honor my request.”

“Buy me another drink and I’ll call you whatever you want, honey.”

“You’re cute when you use that accent.”

“Don’t I know it, sugar.”

He grunts but orders us another round.

“Thank you, kind sir.” I employ my best Blanche DuBois as I lift my refreshed G&T. “To weddings that aren’t ours.”

We clink and then get back to work.

A week or so later, as we near Wedding Ground Zero, we all meet up at a costume shop where Deb works to do final fittings. Even Steve.

“Everybody decent?” The bridesman’s warm baritone is muffled by the heavy drapes that cordon off a changing area, but still recognizable.

“Hang on, I’m only half in this thing.” Kate’s sister Laura—who has flown up for the weekend and seemswaytoo excited to be away from her kids—whimpers as Deb struggles with the zipper on her dress. “I thought I could lose more of the baby weight than I did.”

Deb pats her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry sweetie, I can let it out a bit.”

Even though Deb offered to create a gown for her, Kate’s mom insisted on paying for a “real” wedding dress, so Kate hired Deb to design the rest of the bridal party outfits. I’m a fan. She and Kate picked a gorgeous dark teal fabric, and Deb created a different silhouette for each of us. I am particularly happy about mine. It fits perfectly, it’s comfortable and it shows off my best assets—my legs and arms. My ass and boobs are practically non-existent, which is good for running, but sometimes it’s nice to feel feminine, too. This dress does the trick.

I scan the room. Everyone else is dressed. “Can Steve come in now?”

“I do have to make sure his vest fits,” Deb says.

All the guys have vests to match our dresses since Will can’t seem to go anywhere without wearing a vest. His baby pictures must be hilarious.

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