Page 89 of The Devil's Torment

“Howdareyou? I’ve always known Beth is your favorite. You’ve never exactly hidden it, have you? I’ve been second best my whole life. You only ever come to me when you want something. Well, no more.IfI decide to do this, it will be becauseIwant to, not because you’ve guilt tripped me into it.” I square my shoulders.

Nicholas places his palm against the small of my back, a show of support, of solidarity, and it makes me braver.

“Like my husband said, it’s time for you to leave. I’m sure one of the staff will see you out.”

I don’t give them a chance at a rebuttal. Pivoting, I stride from the room and beeline for the stairs. I’m already on the second floor when Nicholas catches up to me. He takes my hand, and we walk the rest of the way in silence, but as soon as the door to our private quarters closes behind us, I’m in his arms, and he’s kissing my hair and holding on to me like I mean something to him. And, you know, I think I do.

“I’m proud of you,” he murmurs, his lips in my hair. “So fucking proud. And just so you know, with me, you’ll always come first.”

More tears fall, but this time they’re not out of sorrow and frustration but from sheer joy. Those three little words are on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t pluck up the courage to say them. Instead, I cling to him, and we stand there holding each other, and in this moment, right here, I know I’ve got everything I’ll ever need.

* * *

Nicholas isn’t in bed when I wake the next morning. I peek at the clock: eleven-thirty. Wow. I must’ve been more exhausted than even I thought I was. No wonder Nicholas is up already. I lie there staring at the ceiling and let the events of yesterday wash over me. I still don’t know what I’m going to do. Hell, I’m not even sure what’s involved in donating a kidney.

Beth is alive.

A sense of incredulity and deep shock almost swallows me whole. All that planning, the lies, the pain she’d have known she’d cause by making us think she was dead, and yet she went through with it anyway.

On one level, I can understand and, yes, even empathize to some degree at how trapped she must have felt being forced to marry Nicholas when she’d fallen for someone else. Especially knowing Dad’s livelihood and Mum’s mental health were on the line. But she could have toldme, and she didn’t. As much as I’ve felt like the runner-up my entire life, I’ve never blamed Beth for that. I loved her dearly, and I still do.

But I’m hurt. And angry. The misery of the last few months was all for nothing, and it’s going to take me some time to come to terms with that. I don’t know if I can ever forgive her.

Nicholas coming to my defense makes me warm inside every time I think about it. The heat from his body, the pressure from his hands, the words he spoke on my behalf gave me the courage to say things to my parents I’ve kept inside for years.

When we married, I expected a lifetime of yearning, of living miserably and alone, holed up in Oakleigh while my arranged husband went about his business.

How wrong can a person be?

God, Eloise and Briony don’t even know about Beth. I grab my phone and open our group chat, but when it comes to typing out what’s happened in the last twenty-four hours, I don’t know what to say. It’s too complex to put in a note, and as much as I love my friends, I don’t have the energy for a call. Eloise, in particular, will bombard me with questions, and although she won’t mean to, she’ll add to my stress over the whole situation. I’ll tell them soon. Tomorrow, maybe, when I’ve had more time to process it all.

Once I’m showered and dressed, I make my way to the dining room. It’s empty, the breakfast things having long been cleared away. I’m not sure I can stomach food anyway, although I could use a strong cup of coffee. I’m about to head off to find someone when Maisie, Imogen’s maid, enters carrying a bowl loaded with fruit.

She greets me with a smile. “Mrs. De Vil. Can I get you anything?”

“Oh, Maisie, thank you. A coffee if it’s not too much trouble. You don’t happen to know where Nicholas is, do you?”

She nods. “Mr. Nicholas and Mr. Alexander had an early meeting, but they should be back before too long. I’ll fetch you that coffee.”

After setting down the fruit bowl in the center of the large dining table, she pivots and disappears. I grab an apple, but only pick at it. I feel too nauseous, my stomach dipping and rising, and my skin prickles—a sure sign of anxiety. Maisie brings me a large mug of coffee and I’m on my way back to my quarters when Alan, the house butler appears. He bows to me, which usually makes me laugh, but not today. I don’t think I have it in me.

“Mrs. De Vil, your parents and your… ahem… sister are here to see you.”

Somehow, I’m not surprised they’ve shown up this soon, but it’s the last thing I need, especially without Nicholas by my side. I know why they’re here. They want to pile on more pressure, force me into making a fast decision. They didn’t hear a word I said last night.

“Where are they?” I ask wearily.

“I showed them into your living room, ma’am.”

“Okay, thanks, Alan.” He bows again, backs up, and leaves.

I press my fingertips to my temples. It’s all too much. I feel like I’m sinking, and no matter how fast I paddle, I can’t keep my head above water.

Time to face the music and hope I don’t drown.

The three of them are sitting down when I enter the living room we share with Imogen and Alexander. They all stand when they see me. Beth wrings her hands and offers me a wavering smile, but I don’t return it—I can’t. My lips are frozen in a straight line.

“Darling.” Mum holds out her arms, but when I stay where I am, they fall to her side. “Please come and sit down.”

---