Page 103 of The Devil's Torment

“Mr. De Vil, give us room.”

Helpless. I’m fucking helpless.

I rake my hands through my hair. Breaths saw in and out of my chest. Victoria isn’t talking to me now. Everything’s moving too fast. Too fast. I stumble backward. My spine hits the wall, my knees trembling. Orders are hollered, hospital staff run around like there’s a fire at their heels. I know panic when I see it, and there isn’t a single person in this room who isn’t in a flat spin.

“More,” one of the doctors barks. “Squeeze the bag. I need to get this into her, fast.”

I pace, desperate to catch a glimpse of her, but more people arrive, jostling for position.

I don’t need a doctor to tell me what’s going on. I already know.

I’m losing her.

ChapterThirty-Four

NICHOLAS

The room’s quiet, the commotion’s died down, and it’s just Victoria, me, and a single doctor whose mouth is moving, but I can’t hear a word he’s saying over the whooshing in my ears, like river rapids after a thunderstorm.

“—rare, but we’re doing everything we can.”

I grasp the sides of my head and squeeze my eyes shut. “Say that again.”

“Your wife has contracted a bacterial infection, which has led to sepsis. It’s extremely rare for patients to get infections shortly after surgery, but?—”

“Sepsis? What does that mean? Is she going to be okay?”

“We’re loading her up with the strongest antibiotics we have, but the infection is aggressive.” He grimaces, and I prepare for the worst possible news. “If we don’t get it under control in the next few hours, she could die.”

The solid floor disappears beneath my feet. My knees buckle. I brace a hand against the wall to steady myself. My stomach’s in knots, the doctor’s words echoing in my head like footsteps in an empty hospital corridor.

Die. Victoria could die.

No. I won’t let that happen. It can’t happen. Not to her.

“There must be something else. Something experimental. Whatever it costs, get it for her. I don’t care. Just…” I grip the doctor by the shoulders. “You’d better fucking save her. Do whatever it takes, just save her.”

He takes hold of my hands and gently removes them, settling them by my sides. “There are no experimental drugs. All we can do is hope the antibiotics do their job. Right now, her body is attacking itself, and the inflammation is extensive. The next two to three hours should give us an indication of whether the drugs are having the desired effect.” He rests his hand on top of my shoulder. “Talk to her. It’ll help.”

“Her, or me?” I ask dully.

“Both.”

As he leaves, a nurse enters and takes up position on the other side of Victoria’s bed. She gives me what she probably thinks is a reassuring smile. I’m not reassured. I’m fucking petrified. If I thought Victoria was pale when she came around from the operation, it’s nothing compared to now. Her skin is paper thin, and the black circles beneath her eyes look like she’s been punched repeatedly in the face.

I pull up a chair beside her bed and sink into it. Despair and disbelief press down on my chest. How did this happen? It shouldn’t have happened. She should be at home with Penny and me, asleep in our bed.

This is Elizabeth’s fault. Hers and Laura’s and Phillip’s. As if there was ever any possibility of Victoria denying her sister a life-saving operation, even if it put her own life in jeopardy. From what she’s shared with me, it’s clear my wife has spent the entirety of her twenty-four years fighting for equality in the eyes of her parents. Although she never confirmed it, that desire to feel worthy of her parents’ love played a part in her decision, and no one, including Victoria, will convince me otherwise.

I rest my forehead on my wife’s cool hand, and a flood of words spill out of me, each one tripping over the next. “Please don’t leave me. I can’t live without you. I love you. I’m sorry I haven’t said it before. I couldn’t find the words. Why are they easy to say now when you’re unconscious?” I press her palm to my cheek. “I love you so much. After my mother died, I thought my heart perished with her, but you breathed life back into it. You’re my everything, Half-pint. You’re my fucking life. Without you, I can’t go on. I don’t want to go on. Please, please come back to me. Fight, baby.” Tears spill down my cheeks, dropping onto the pale blue hospital blanket, leaving a dark, round mark. “Fight it. I know you can do it. You’re one of the strongest women I know. Don’t you let it win.”

I wipe tears off my cheeks. “I can’t believe I once thought I wanted to change you. That you were too unruly, too opinionated, too sassy. The very things I thought I disliked about you are the things I love the most. Please, I’m begging you, Half-pint, please don’t leave me. I’m nothing without you.”

The door bursts open, and Laura and Philip almost fall through it. The medics must have told them what’s happened, and I’m pissed about it.I’mher next of kin. I should have a fucking say who comes and who stays the hell away. My feelings are painted all over my face when, through bloodshot eyes and tearstained cheeks, I cut them down with a few vicious words.

“This is your fault.”

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