Page 60 of The Wedding Game

A breath escapes her lips.

Lexie is not going to stop me continuing this ‘what if’ moment. But other than being explicit, we’ve probably taken it as far as we can. It’s certainly further than we should have taken it. ‘Perhaps sleeping together on the first date probably wouldn’t have been a good idea,’ I volunteer softly.

‘Perhaps not,’ she agrees.

OK, I’ve said everything I wanted to say. Almost everything. I can move on with my life now.

Lexie’s quiet. For a second I think she’s watching the ice-skaters and then I realise she’s not. She’s staring through them. Her gaze doesn’t move.

‘I watched your taxi drive away,’ she starts slowly. ‘And Ididthink it was a mistake that I didn’t come with you,’ she confesses. ‘But I couldn’t afford to.’

Her voice is soft, and I’m hanging on every word.

‘But that was then. And so many wonderful things have happened since – new boyfriend, this job – that it’s hard to feel remorse about what might have been between us, because it would have taken events – my life – in a completely different direction. And now …?’ she holds her hands out, gesturing openly at nothing in particular, ‘It’s not helpful going down the path of regret.’

Regret.‘Hang on,’ I say, circling back. ‘You couldn’t afford it?’

She gives the slightest little shake of her head and looks confused that I’ve picked up on this, of all things. But of all the comments she’s made, this is what’s hit home the hardest, becausethisis what decided which way that night went.

‘Is that …?’ I trail off as I’m not sure I want to know the answer to this question. But I’m asking it anyway. ‘Is that theonlyreason you didn’t come with me?’

She nods. ‘Pretty much. I’d just had my credit card declined over two drinks, I’m ashamed to say. Those two champagnes I disappeared for ages to get?’

I nod.

‘Josh bought those.’

My eyes widen. ‘Joshbought our drinks?’

‘He was at the bar when I was suffering financial humiliation. Right place, right time.’

‘Wow! OK. I was going to pay for your flight, you know,’ I add – pointlessly now, I realise. I’m three months too late to tell her this.

‘Were you?’ she asks, her eyes rounding in disbelief.

‘Yeah, of course.’

‘There’s noof courseabout it,’ she says.

‘I felt so strongly that inviting you was the right thing to do, that you coming with me would have been the most perfect thing,’ I go on. ‘That feeling simply took over. I was ready to dig into my savings account and book the flight on my phone right there and then. I wish I’d made that fact clearer at the time.’

She’s watching me as if she wants me to say more, or less. I have no clue which. There’s a huge look of regret on Lexie’s face – one she promised only moments ago she wasn’t going to feel.

Two things could happen right now. I could kiss her. I think she’d let me. I think she’d kiss me back. Then I’d bethat shit guy who got her to cheat on her boyfriend. I’m not that shit. I’m not the man who does that. And this isn’t the way to start something with Lexie. Nothing good comes of relationships that start with cheating.

The other thing I can do is shut this down. I dig deep. This is the way to end it. ‘I was only going to buy you a one-way ticket, though,’ I surprise her by saying.

‘One-way?’ she asks in a shocked voice, and then her face changes when she senses I’m joking and she gives me a shove.

‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘If you wanted to ditch me the minute you arrived and scarper back to London, that was all on you.’

‘Hey,’ she replies. I can see by her face that she’s struggling to work out what just happened here. The conversation was deep, revelatory, but now it’s over.

I need to go. I need to say goodbye. Again.Now. Before anyone gets hurt. ‘I’ve had a nice night,’ I tell her. I’m not going to make a pointless face-saving joke about Lexie’s ice-skating, and neither does she. ‘I can take you back to your hotel?’ I offer.

She looks confused that this is all ending so abruptly and shakes her head. ‘Er, no, thanks. I’ve got it from here. I’ll be OK.’

‘I guess this is it then,’ I say. ‘Unless Max flies you back out again soon.’ I can’t believe I’m relying on small talk here.

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