Page 105 of The Wedding Game

He stops, yards from me, staring at me. ‘What amIdoing? What areyoudoing? Why have you left?’

‘Why haveyouleft?’ I call back to him. He can’t do this. I want Chris. I love him – I know that now. I knew it so long ago, but I couldn’t admit it. I love him, but this is not OK. I walk towards him. ‘You can’t do this. We can’t do this. It’sher wedding day.’ Tears fall down my face. ‘You’re ruining Victoria’s life!’

I push him, his chest warm through his shirt, and he staggers backwards in surprise. And then Chris stands his ground. He grabs my hands, holds them away from his chest.

‘What are you doing?’ he asks. ‘Stop. Just stop.’

I stare at him, my hands held tightly in his. I can’t move. He looks as agonised as I feel.

‘You can’t do this to her,’ I cry. ‘You can’t walk out of the wedding and do this to her.’

‘Victoria doesn’t care that I’m out here,’ he says. ‘She probably hasn’t even noticed.’

‘Of course she’s noticed,’ I cry. I’m in hell. Or at least I’m going there. Why isn’t he in hell too? ‘The man she’s marrying has left her at the altar. How could you do this to her? I thought you were a good person, Chris. Get back inside the church! Now!’

He stares at me intently, his brown eyes piercing my heart. ‘What?’ he says. ‘I’m not marrying her.’

‘You have to. You can’t leave her standing there.’ I’m really crying now.

He’s quiet. And then he says softly, ‘Do you even know whose wedding you’re at?’

‘What?’

He loosens his grip on my wrists. ‘She’s not marryingme.’

‘What?’ I’m going to say this on repeat until Chris starts making sense.

‘Oh my God, Lexie. She’s not marryingme,’ he says. ‘She’s marrying my brother.’

‘What?’

‘She’s marrying my brother, Ben. I’m his best man.’

‘What?’

‘You have to stop saying that,’ he continues, warmth returning to his eyes.

‘No,’ I reply. ‘You’re getting married. You’re with Victoria and you’re getting married to her, and my heart is breaking.’ Am I dreaming all of this? I must be in a nightmare.

He’s quiet, looking into my eyes, into my soul. ‘Your heart is breaking?’ he asks softly. ‘Because you think I’m getting married?’

‘Yes,’ I say between sobs. ‘Yes. I …’

‘Lexie,’ he goes on, and his voice is pained. ‘Lexie, I’m not getting married. I was never getting married. My brother’s getting married. And I’m standing here with you, which is exactly where I want to be.’

I can’t see him through my tears, and then my eyes clear as they fall down my face. Chris wipes the tears away gently. I’ve missed him so much. I’ve missed everything about him.

‘How?’ I ask. ‘How is she marrying your brother?’

He blows air out of his cheeks. ‘I made the error of introducing her to him when he was in town. But it wasn’t an error in the end. Theyreallyhit it off,’ he says with a laugh. ‘More than I’d hit it off with Victoria. It was immediate. I could see that. There were no hard feelings. I watched them together that first night they met. They talked so animatedly about a musical we’d just seen, which they’d both loved and I’d hated. I knew it then. I could see what they couldn’t. I was the one who suggested they might like to hang out andsee what happened. I gave them my blessing and conceded happy defeat, let’s put it that way.’

I put my hand over my mouth to stop a sob. There’s so much I want to say. So much I want to reveal – that I wish so much I’d got on that plane with him three years ago, that I love him. That I fell in love with him a little bit that first night we met and it’s never gone away since. That I’d made a huge mistake in letting him go, in letting our friendship go. I thought I was doing the right thing in pursuing things with Josh. It’s all my fault.

Chris’s eyes are still on mine. He’s watching me intently as if he can hear my thoughts. ‘Are you and Josh …?’

‘No,’ I say. ‘It ended. Ages ago.’

‘Oh,’ he replies simply. ‘OK then. Well, Lexie?’

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