Page 81 of The Wedding Game

‘Go on.’

‘I’m of an age …’ he goes on, and I keep quiet, but he stops, changes tack. ‘I know I’mthe onefor someone out there. But it wasn’t Kayla. And she wasn’t the one for me. And as you head towards the end of your thirties …’ He lets that hang there. I know what he’s saying: time is running out. God, that’s bleak.

I’m quiet and so is Chris.

‘What are you thinking?’ he asks me.

I don’t know how to say what he wants to hear without putting myself in danger, slipping up in some way. I shrug in response.

He continues. ‘I know what I want. I know I want to be with someone – really be with them, give them my all. I want to build a life with someone, fall in love with them, marry them, have children one day.’

Wow, I think. My heart just flew all round my chest.

‘But it’s not happening,’ he continues. ‘Dating apps are a no. Real life is a no.’

Real life was almost a yes. I don’t say it, though. I don’t dare.

‘You’ve not quite found what you’re looking for yet,’ I tell him and I want to choke on my own insipid words. ‘But one day, when you do, it’s going to be mind-blowing. And the wait will have been worth it.’

I imagine Chris findingthe one.I don’t like what that thought does to me. I feel uneasy.

He looks at me, but doesn’t reply.Don’t say it, I think. I have a fear he’s going to say something – reference what nearly happened between us. But he doesn’t. When we last spoke about this, it was at the wedding in Edinburgh ninemonths ago. Perhaps Chris doesn’t feel it any more. So much time has passed since we first met.

‘Anyway,’ he says, ‘I’m back to being single and making sure I don’t invite people to events with me, so I can meet hot single women.’

‘Women? Plural?’ I ask.

‘No. Not plural.’

‘I should hope not,’ I reply. ‘You’re too much of a perfect gentleman for that.’

‘Maybe next time I won’t be a gentleman and will see what happens.’

My eyes open wide. ‘Next time?’

‘The next woman I meet that I think might be a potential winner, I’m putting my tongue down her throat there and then. It worked for you and Josh. And I’m proposing within seventeen minutes. It’s all going to happen on that first night. I won’t invite her to come home with me.InsteadI’ll miss my flight andI’llstay here.’

‘Bloody hell. Stand back, Chris is on a mission,’ I joke and I’m pleased we’ve managed to claw back some humour into what could quickly have turned into a loaded conversation. ‘No chance of you being divorced by forty at this rate,’ I continue.

He smiles, holds my gaze. ‘Or of proposing to someone within seventeen minutes, either. Whereareall the single women?’

‘We’re all taken, I’m afraid. Every now and again one of us emerges, fresh from a failed relationship and blinking into the glare of the sunlight. And there you’ll be.’

He smiles. ‘Like some sort of messed-up rebound hero.’

‘No, like you,’ I say meaningfully. ‘Just … you.’ I smile and so does Chris. I need to move this conversation out of dangerous waters. ‘Hang on, old man,’ I say, and he rolls his eyes. ‘It’ll happen. Just not today.’

‘I’m pleased it’s happened for you,’ he says.

I pause briefly and then reply, ‘Me too.’

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

December

‘Welcome to our house-cooling party!’ I cry as Josh and Tamara arrive at mine and Scarlet’s flat, clutching three bottles of wine to add to the bar.

‘House-cooling?’ Josh queries, as Scarlet moves forward and she and Josh exchange a kiss on the cheek.

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