Page 48 of The Last Train Home
I go upstairs, pick him up and he stops crying immediately. Samantha hates that I can always calm him down. She says Teddy just cries when she holds him, which I didn’t think was true, but now she’s said it, I notice that unless he’s on her boobs he really does kick off when she holds him.
I change him before his feed. I’ve learned about the order of things the hard way. If he gets all sleepy after his milk and I rustle him around changing his nappy, he’s a total sod to get off to sleep after that. Now I’ve mastered the art of winding him and then laying him down and backing away gently.
‘He’s four months old. How can he still be this hungry? I think we might need to start him on solids a bit early,’ Samantha says as Teddy settles in for a feed.
I nod along, watching his little fingers grab at Samantha’s boobs as if his life depends on it, which it does, I suppose. His little mouth is sucking away. ‘You’re a hungry little fella, aren’t you, Tedster?’
‘Don’t call him that,’ Samantha says. ‘It’s awful.’
‘It’s nice to have a nickname,’ I protest. ‘My parents never gave me one.’
‘Me neither,’ Samantha says.
This I can believe. The one time I called her Sam I thought she was going to claw my eyes out. I’ve never made that mistake again.
‘It’s just Teddy, OK?’ she says. ‘Not Tedster. Not Ted. Just Teddy. I wish we hadn’t given our child a name that can be shortened. We didn’t think that through.’
It takes him ages to feed and, when he’s done with one of Samantha’s breasts, she moves him to the next.
‘Do you want me to try him on a bottle next time? Might be easier.’
She sighs. ‘Maybe.’
‘It might be nice to try a bottle before we whip him straight onto solids. Four months seems a bit early for actual food.’
‘Fine,’ she says.
Teddy resurfaces for air, looks at me triumphantly and makes a loud burp, which I know has halved the amount of time it’ll take to put him down in his crib and get him to sleep. I thank him silently.
‘Right, shall I?’ I offer to take him and Samantha gives him up easily.
‘Why did no one tell me this was going to be so hard?’ she asks. ‘And boring. It’s really boring, don’t you think?’
I hold Teddy upright and rub his back in case there’s more secret wind that he’s holding on to. I bob from side to side automatically. I often catch myself doing this while standing in the queue at the coffee shop, and in the lift at work. I must look like a total weirdo, swaying to my own beat.
‘It’s not boring. It’s amazing,’ I say.
‘Speak for yourself,’ she says. ‘I can’t wait to get back to work.’
‘Really?’
She nods. ‘I need to use my brain. I need to stop feeling so tired. I’msotired.’
‘I know. Me too. But we’re over the worst of it. We’re pros now.’
I glance at the TV. Pierce Brosnan’s been on pause, while jumping off the cliff, for about thirty minutes. I love this scene, but the screen’s going to burn out at this rate.
‘Go to bed,’ I tell her. ‘I’ll clear up down here and lock up.’
‘Really?’ Samantha says gratefully. ‘Thanks.’ I expect her to scoop Teddy up from me as she goes upstairs, but she walks past us both and continues on. I follow behind her, with Teddy looking at me with his big blue eyes, his hand grabbing at my shirt collar.
‘OK, little man. It’s sleepy time. Don’t let me down now,’ I say, popping a kiss on his gorgeous downy head.
I can’t help noticing that he looks suspiciously wide awake for a baby who’s supposed to be heading back to bed.
Chapter 34
Abbie
