Page 73 of Enemies, Lovers & A Valentine's Baby

After a hot shower back at my apartment and a cup of steaming coffee to wake myself up, I dress in a plain tee and some yoga pants. Curling up in bed again with my laptop, I try to get some work done, but my mind is in a distant place.

I squeal, unable to contain my excitement as a thought crosses my mind. “I was right. I knew I was right!” I squeal again.

Greg didn’t cheat on Sue. He would never hurt her like that, but Sue was so convinced, she almost managed to convince me too. She has been so worked up over this that she couldn’t even tell him they’re about to have a baby. Meanwhile the whole time, he’s been planning this beautiful surprise for her.

In reality, I was not convinced that I was ever going to get that information from Cole, but somehow the universe worked it out.

God, I wish I could tell her right now. But I’ll let her husband surprise her, just like I promised Cole.

Cole.

I’ve found out what Sue wanted me to—the main reason I’ve been working with Cole to begin with, so doesn’t that mean it’s over? I saw a side of him last night that I never imagined. He was gentle, letting himself be completely vulnerable with me, genuinely wanting to know about me, and truly listening to what I had to say. He’s the only one since Sue who I felt comfortable enough to share the biggest and most painful part of my life with. I told him about the thing that scares me the most in the entire world, and he looked at me and told me I was beautiful.

I wouldn’t take back anything that happened last night. It’s one of those nights I will carry with me for the rest of my life, but it can’t happen again. Not with him. I didn’t spend all these years waiting to find a love like my parents’, only to eventually fall in love with a man who no longer believes in love.

He’s been through so much, and I understand that he doesn’t want to risk it again. Not everyone can come back from something like that and still see the good in people, but I’m not willing to get my emotions tangled up with a man who can’t give me the love I’ve waited all these years for.

There’s no future for us.

I can’t give him a family, and he can’t give me love.

Chapter 30

Reality Bites

Cole

Squinting my eyes at the glaring rays of sunlight that filter through my open blinds, I groan, rolling over in bed. My hand instinctively reaches out for Lila. Only when my hands finally rest, they’re resting on empty space. I feel around, eyes still shut tightly because if I open them, then I have to face the reality that she’s really not here.

It’s a big bed. Maybe she’s just rolled across to the other side. I reach my hand as far back as it can stretch. She is definitely not here.

Reluctantly, I open my eyes, blinking as they adjust to the brightness in the room. I already knew it. The bed is empty, the space where she’d lain cold. It’s easy to tell that she hasn’t been here for a while.

Disappointment tugs at my heart. I sit up, rubbing at my groggy eyes and taking in my surroundings once again. There is no trace of her left. Her dress and the sweats I gave her to wear are gone. Nothing left to prove that last night really happened. If I couldn't smell her essence on my sheets and pillow, I may have even convinced myself that none of it really happened.

Last night was undoubtedly the best night of my life. Not just because we had sex, although that was definitely the best sex I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a lot of sex.

No, it was because I saw a different side of myself. A side I had convinced myself was long gone. A version of myself I thought I would never again be, but she brought it to life effortlessly. For the first time in almost nine years, I let myself be completely vulnerable to a woman. It wasn’t about what I wanted from her, or what she wanted from me. It was just two people who felt comfortable enough to share their fears with one another. For the first time I wanted to talk and just have someone listen.

I wanted her to understand, and she did. There was no judgement in her eyes when I told her how I’d hurt other people because of my own pain, only understanding. She truly listened. Even though all I’d ever done was hurt her, she had far more grace for me.

That grace finally allowed me to tell her how sorry I was for the way that I treated her. I’d always wanted to say it, but I struggled to find the words. And now, here she was, making it easier for me.

I never thought I would care again what a woman thought of me. Not after Lydia. I was completely content with them seeing me as the spawn of the devil if it was what it took for them to leave me alone. But with Lila, I only wanted her to see me as someone worthy of her, even if I really wasn’t.

So, I told her truths that scared even me—truths that I’d struggled with and eventually resigned myself to. I wasconvinced love would never again be for me, but last night, somewhere in between all those moments where my heart skipped several beats as I stared at her gorgeous face, I think I started to believe again.

But now she’s gone. Her leaving the way she did makes me think it’s possible that she doesn’t believe. At least not in me.

Snapping myself out of the pity party I seem to be throwing for myself, I pull myself out of bed and make my way down to the kitchen for coffee in some loose-fitting sweatpants, and my mind is immediately taken back to the vision of her wearing another pair of those last night. I sit at my island, sipping from the steaming hot cup of coffee as I try to calm my raging hormones.

Last night, I thought we shared something special. I haven’t been the biggest fan of love in a long time, but last night, everything I’d been so convinced of was completely altered. For the first time in eight years, I felt…hope. Lila Smith has never been like other women to me. With her, I wanted it to be more than just one night—I still want it to be so much more than just one night.

I just need to figure out how to make it happen.

Sitting up, I whip out my phone, shooting her a text. If I can get her to come by my office, maybe we can talk about all this.

Two hours later, I’m seated behind my desk in a crisp, white shirt and dark blue pants. My sleeves are rolled up to my elbows as I type away at my computer.

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