Page 30 of Enemies, Lovers & A Valentine's Baby

He does a comprehensive checkup, taking my blood samples as always, swabbing the insides of my mouth and tongue. Then he rattles off names as he labels them and tells me the types of testing they’ll be sent off for.

Now there’s only one more exam to do. No matter how many times I’ve had it done, it never gets easier to do. The dreaded pap smear. But it’s a necessary evil.

I stare up at the ceiling and take in slow deep breaths to calm my nerves as he readies the equipment to use.

“Are you ready?” he asks gently as he places a hand on the inside of my knee.

“I'm never going to be ready. This is never not going to be absolutely mortifying,” I sigh, reluctantly spreading my legs open. I start counting to one hundred, finding slight comfort in the fact that I shaved my legs and that area being invaded at the moment.

“I’m sure I would feel the same if I were in your shoes,” he clucks sympathetically as he gets to work.

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to ignore the familiar discomfort. The test only lasts a few minutes, yet it feels much longer.

“You can get dressed now; I’ll be back once you are,” he says once he’s finished.

I get dressed as quickly as I can and let him know I’m ready.

“The results will be back in a few days. Everything looks good, but the results will confirm it,” he says, scribbling into the file he has in front of him. Once he sets the pen down, he turns back to me.

“So, now that we’ve got that out of the way, how are you, Lila?” he asks, leaning back in his seat.

“I’m good. I’ve just been very busy with work, but I’ve been trying to be better at making time for family. I just got back from visiting Joanne and the kids,” I say, my face lighting up.

“Lovely. How’re she and the kids doing?” he smiles back. Dr. Vincent has delivered all of Joanne’s babies, so he’s practically extended family.

“They’re great. It always does my heart good spending time with them. I can’t wait till I have a family like that.” I smile, my mind nodding off to a distant place.

Dr. Vincent gets a knowing smile on his face.

“You’ve wanted that for as long as I’ve known you. It would be nice to finally put things into place to make it a reality. You deserve it,” he says softly.

My heart melts at his tender words, tears starting to blur the edges of my vision.

“Thank you, Doc.”

“That leads me to the next thing we need to talk about,” he says.

Apprehension instantly fills my body. I frown, my brows furrowing at the concern etched into his face.

“Is something wrong?” I ask.

“I know how much you want to have kids, Lila, but time is not on your side,” he says, glancing at my hands that instantly tighten into fists.

“For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been very open about your desire to have a big family and raise lots of children, but it’s no secret that you’re almost forty. You’ve always avoided my suggestions of doing fertility tests, but you can’t afford to put it off any longer.”

“Getting pregnant is easier in your twenties and even thirties, but I have to tell you that it gets much more difficult after that. The quality of your eggs comes into play, and while it’s still possible for you to get pregnant, that’s usually the reason that women your age struggle with fertility. I really encourage you to do the fertility testing. Do you understand what I’m saying?” he asks, but I can barely make out his words above the ringing in my ears. My heart is racing, slamming violently against my ribcage.

“Are you saying there’s a possibility I may not be able to have children?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

“No, I’m not saying that, but I also can’t tell you for sure that you can. You’re a very healthy woman overall,” he explains, “butI can’t see what’s going on in your body if you don’t allow us to run these tests.”

“Okay,” I sigh, a sense of relief coursing through my body that he wasn’t telling me he thought I couldn’t have kids.

“So what are these tests I’d have to take?” I ask.

“I’d have to refer you to the fertility specialist, but some of the things they’ll do is take some imaging which will check your ovaries, uterus, and follicles to evaluate ovulation and find any abnormalities like cysts or fibroids.”

“They’ll also do an HSG, which is an x-ray test where a dye is injected into the uterus and fallopian tubes to check for blockages. They’ll do a range of hormone testing, Follicle-Stimulating Hormone, which checks your ovarian reserve to see the quantity and quality of your eggs. They’ll check your Luteinizing Hormone, which monitors ovulation by identifying the surge that triggers egg release. Also, Estradiol which regulates ovarian function and ovarian reserve, and Anti-Müllerian Hormone to measure your ovarian reserve by estimating the number of remaining eggs. They’ll walk you through everything, but that’s a good list of the typical ones to expect.”

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