Page 44 of Buckled in Barbwire

Fuck, she’s adorable. A grin threatens to make an appearance. I force the unwelcome expression to get gone before responding.

Me:Of course they’re here. What kind of villain do you take me for?

Twinkles:One with a micro peen.

Me:Care to rephrase that?

Twinkles:I’ve come to the conclusion that you must have a tiny penis.

Me:Come see for yourself.

Twinkles:You know I won’t. That’s why you need a fake bride. You’re afraid a real one would actually want to have sex with you. At least until she saw your teeny weenie. Gosh, your reputation would be ruined.

Me:Hilarious. Get your ass to the courthouse.

Twinkles:Why are you the worst?

Me:To redeem myself in the end. Best to start from rock bottom.

Twinkles:I’m going to tell my parents the truth before this goes any further.

Me:Should I tell them to call you?

Twinkles:They’re already there?!

Me:We had brunch with the mayor. Dad is here too.

Twinkles:Where’s Bianca?

Me:In Europe…

Twinkles:Why isn’t she answering the phone?

Me:How would I know?

Twinkles:You haven’t talked to her?

Me:Colton has passed along a few messages. She’s fine.

Twinkles:But she isn’t responding to me.What’s going on with her?

Me:We’ll worry about that later. Focus on getting ready.

Twinkles:I’m not getting married without my best friend present.

Me:We’ll have a second wedding once Bianca is home.

Twinkles:That seems excessive. How long are you planning to hold me hostage?

Me:Ask my dad.

Twinkles:I would have but he’s been noticeably absent.

Me:He’s back now.

Twinkles:How convenient.

Me:Couldn’t miss our big day.

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