“I’m leaving.”
Bianca’s soft voice cuts into the silence, interrupting my glaring contest with the spreadsheet crumpled in my fist. A glance at my sister makes the profits from our recent livestock auction seem trivial. The tears in her eyes are a punch to the gut. I clench my jaw to avoid the emotion trying to climb up my throat.
“Since when do you tell me about your plans? Go do whatever it is you do all day. I’ll be in this exact spot when you’re done.” My hand motions to the stacks of paperwork demanding my attention.
She fidgets before dropping the bomb. “Um, well… I’ve decided to take a trip.”
“A trip?”
Her head bobs quickly. “To Europe. Alone. Kinda crazy, but it feels right. Germany seems like a good place to start. Not sure where I’ll go from there. My flight leaves tomorrow.”
I freeze halfway through her speech. Once she’s done, a dry chuckle scrapes free from my grimace. “No.”
Her watery eyes roll. “I wasn’t asking permission.”
“Doesn’t matter. There’s no chance in hell that you’re traveling to a different country by yourself. It’s way too dangerous. I forbid it.”
“You can’t stop me. I’m an adult.” She lifts her chin at a haughty angle, appearing thirteen rather than twenty-three.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “You’re being reckless. Spend the weekend in Florida or something.”
“No, I need an adventure. Somewhere unknown and far away.”
“Too bad. We need you here,” I counter.
Flames spark in her narrowed gaze. “You don’t. As you just so eloquently stated, my contribution around here is meaningless.”
“That’s not what I said.”
Bianca huffs. “Doesn’t matter. I’m going.”
“You might want to reconsider.”
“Why would I do that?”
The ten years that separate us are mocking me. I don’t have the luxury of hopping on a plane to abandon the grief. My sister is a fucking princess and has the freedom to do whatever she wants. But it’s our fault for allowing this behavior to continue.
My molars are dangerously close to becoming dust at the rate I’m grinding them. “Think about your horses. You don’t expect me to just let them stand around and get fat off expensive hay. What’s to stop me from selling the spoiled lot at the next auction?”
Am I proud of threatening her? Not really. But theseare tough times. She doesn’t get to skip town while I’m stuck in the trenches.
Fresh tears glisten in her eyes. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me.”
“Mom would be pissed at you right now,” Bianca rants. “Losing her was painful enough. Don’t be such an asshole.”
Air expels from my pressed lips in a hiss. She’s right, of course. Mother wouldn’t condone my behavior. But she’s gone. It’s my responsibility to keep the rest of our family together. I clench my hand into a tight fist under the desk and resist the urge to punch the wall.
“You have to stay,” I command. “Think about Dad. You can’t just leave while he’s suffering.”
She sniffs and drops her gaze. “Don’t use him as an excuse.”
“Fine. How about me? Consider the position you’re putting me in. There’s already too much shit on my plate. Dealing with your pampered herd is the last thing I need.”
Tension coils tightly between my shoulders as I consider the mountain of demands that require my attention. Overseeing the productivity of our multiple businesses is a full-time job, but that’s just the tip of my obligations. Between reviewing weekly output reports and increasing profitability across the deficits, my patience is stretched thinner than foreskin. And that’s just the agenda for this afternoon. My head hangs for a very brief reprieve.
I didn’t realize how much my mother did for Benson Farmstead until she was gone. With my father out of commission and Bianca choosing to flee the scene, the weight of our empire falls heavily on my shoulders. It’s become my responsibility to ensure we remain afloat.