Page 121 of Headed for Home

“Yep, it hurts.”

“Where?”

“Uhhh, well…” I trail off and tuck the sheet tighter to my hips. “It’s difficult to explain. I’ll be fine.”

The crease between his brows doesn’t appear convinced. “Want a band-aid?”

“That probably won’t help. The damage is mostly to my… kumquats. They’re very sensitive.”

He blinks at me. “What’s that?”

“A type of fruit. Kinda strange and fuzzy, but high in protein. Serves a purpose.”

“You’re eating breakfast?”

I scrub at the back of my neck. “No, it’s just what I call a certain part of my body.”

“Do I have kumquats?”

“Sure do, buddy. Two of them.”

Charlie’s smile stretches wide. “Wow, that’s sooooo cool. Where are they?”

“Ummm…” The consequences of my own actions are mocking me. I’ve really stepped into a pile of doo-doo. “Next to your banana.”

“A banana? I have one of those too?” His voice goes up several octaves.

“Yep, it’s a bit of a bundle.”

Kenzie stops rummaging in the makeup kit. “Do I have a banana and kumsquats bundle?”

“Kumquats,” I laugh. “Nope, Mac. You have more of a… breadbasket situation going on down there.”

She frowns. “Why do I have a breadbasket?”

“Where else do the banana loaves go?” I wince and try to rewind this conversation. The hole I’m digging for myself is quite impressive. “I thought you were giving me a makeover?”

Kenzie nods and whips out a small brush. The end is covered in glitter. “Close your eyes.”

I gulp. “Are you sure about this?”

She kneels on the mattress, scooting closer. The sparkly demise of my masculinity is aloft in her grip. “Hold still, Pinkie Pie.”

Which reminds me of the face painting. This can’t be worse than that. I slide my lids shut on a silent wish. A gentle dusting begins the process. Sprinkles rain onto my cheeks. It almost tickles and I chuckle.

“You can’t move,” she chides. “I don’t wanna make a mistake.”

When my thumb goes up to confirm my compliance, Charlie immediately yanks the digit down. “Whatcha doing, Cheese?”

“Your nails are colorful,” he says.

“Gonna be sooooo prettyful,” Kenzie chirps. Her gentle sweeps are arching toward my eyebrows. “Mommy will be surprised.”

“Do you think she’ll love me extra hard after this?” I regret my choice in phrasing as fragments of Cassidy riding me resurface.

“Yep, this will make her happy.”

“Phew,” I exhale. “That’s my goal in life.”

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