Page 188 of Ink Deep Devotion

Maybe that’s a good thing. I ran, tested his power, and almost got his friend killed. He’s going to hate me. Divorce me. Give me up. I plucked the final straw and destroyed it.

The door swings open.

There he stands. My dark knight. An ominous shadow covers his face, stretching out and wrapping around me.

Oh, Lord. He looks terrible.Sleep hasn’t been kind to him; the dark circles support that. He’s thinner, and his platinum blonde hair looks more ashen than the shiny silver it usually is. His cheekbones are sharper because his face is hollow. Thinned. No longer plush with our twisted love.

He looks like a weapon of mass destruction, nuclear, but he’s not just hurting others; he’s destroying himself. I see it coating his skin like radiation.

He can’t survive like this forever. It’s killing him.

I’mkilling him.

I did this, but he forced me. Our actions chain us both; the only way to unbind us is forgiveness. I don’t think he will forgive me.

I destroyed a King, and now he’s going to punish me.

“I…” My throat dries up as his eyes look me up and down; his knuckles turn white as he grips the door.“I…”Where is my voice?

Slowly, his hand drops from the door as if he’s scared the lack of support will cause him to tumble down.“I love you,” Dash says.

“What?” I choke.

He steps forward, but the distance between us is still vast.“I love you, Mila King,“ he repeats with tears in his eyes.

“King?”

He nods as some blood rushes to his cheeks, staining them with life again.“If you’ll still have me?” He blurts out, and I struggle to blink away my tears.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking for forgiveness?” I ran because I wanted to hurt you. And I did, I see it.

He moves so suddenly; I blink, and he’s right here, touching me and pressing the tips of his shoe against mine.“No,” he cups my cheek, and I fracture as goosebumps spread over my body.

“We are falling back into our pattern. We lash out, then love each other, only to lash out again.” I whisper.

“I’m breaking the pattern,” Dash states without hesitation. I feel his lips kiss the top of my head as he holds me.“I know why you ran. I’ve always known. The first moment we met, you were honest with me. You wanted freedom, and I promised to grant itto you. I’m the liar. I don’t blame you for running. I blame myself for not helping you.”

I’m too scared to raise my arms and hug him back.

“I know we have a lot of shit to work out; I know you might not forgive me, but I need you, and yes, that is me guilting you into staying.” He cups my face, gently wiping away my tears.“I was dead when you met me, hollow, nothing but flesh and bones and anger. So much hate.”

For a moment, my vision clears, and that’s when I see it, tears cascading down Dash’s face.“But then I saw you, this fragile small ballerina who faked a smile and tried so fucking hard to hold her chin up high.” A pressed smile tugs at my lips.“You gave me a purpose, twisted and sick, but I wanted to break you, to remold you; I wanted you to find your legs so you could run, but once you did, I had fallen for you; I felt alive again. So I trapped you in a maze that always led back to me. I didn’t want to die again, Mila. Loving you kept me alive, but it ended up killing you. I don’t know how to stop that or how we can find a middle ground, but I want to try. I want to try with you, Mila, if you’ll let me.”

His hands set me free as he steps back and watches, each breath labored and pained until I reply.“You’re giving me a choice?”

He nods.“If you want a divorce, I’ll give it to you; if you try again with me, I promise you I will change. Whatever you want, I will do.” His lips tremble.

I wipe the tears off my face.“You made me feel like a caged butterfly. You touched my wings, and they withered away, forcing me to learn how to walk and no longer fly, no longer dream of freedom. I hated you, hated that I loved you so badly.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t good enough.”

He hangs his head.

“I tasted freedom, Dash. I learned who I was, what I hated, and what I wanted to change about myself.” He bites his lip and stares at the floor. I step closer.“I also learned that when someone threatened you, all I wished for was one more chance to talk to you, to yell and shout, to kiss and hold. I wanted one more chance to be a queen and not a treasure. I love you. But we’re toxic.”

“I can fix us.”

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