Page 42 of Ink Deep Devotion

Hopeless romantic fools. Every single one of them.

I understand Anders now. He’d never loved another; how could he after what he suffered? No amount of love can break determination.

Whispers become silent as the door creaks open. It feels like I’m back in nature with my sniper rifle, where one move, the smallest sound, causes the crickets to stop their melodies, acting as a perfect alarm for a nearby predator.

I miss those days at Initiation 101, which means I’m really fucked in the head for missing that. I miss the solitude of the field, the barracks, and the focused missions I had to complete. I feel entirely exposed now that I’m back in my life and at university, causing me to be very, very dangerous.

All the students and the professor shift their focus to the door. Titan and Damian walk in, acknowledge the professor, and ascend the stairs of the lecture hall just as I sit down. Going to school and earning a degree feels pointless when we will behanded empires so very soon. I can’t shake the feeling that our fathers might be up to something else.

One guy looks at Damian too long, his eyes wide with wonder and shock, as if my cousin is an extinct creature, a bloody freaking dragon that just landed in the classroom. Damian’s glare prompts him to abruptly stand up and move five rows away.

Having people fear you so easily is a wonderful added benefit of surviving Initiation 101. Unlike my time at Silverstone Preparatory, where other guys hungered to challenge me in The Cleansing, here at Empire University, people know better. Their main goals are to survive, receive their inheritances, and earn our favor.

Damian bypasses me and settles into the desk behind me, always watching my back like an annoying tick.“I should have hit you harder.” He grumbles.

I roll my eyes.

As the professor dims the lights and begins class, Titan comes over to my side.“That was harsh, even for you.” He mutters in disappointment.

“Keep annoying me and see how much harsher I can be.” I huff.

“We’re not your enemies.”

“If choosing Mila is you being my friend, then you need another lesson in friendship.”

“Maybe you need to re-examine yours. I know what you feel, brother. If I could go back and have one second just to see Elsa again, I would do anything. You’re making a mistake. Imagine a world without Mila.”

I want to rip his tongue out! I narrow my eyes.“Lucky for her, she’s trapped in my world. I’ll be her judge and jury whether you and Damian agree or not.”

With a twitch in his eyes, Titan responds,“Dash, you don’t even believe that. You’ll do everything in your power to hurt her, I can see it, but one day you’re going to look back and realize what a huge fucking mistake it was.” He edges forward, mouth seething,“You’re going to wish you were holding her tight instead of grasping at the empty coldness between your arms.”

“Just because you fucked up and got your girl killed doesn’t mean I have to feel the same.” I bite, instantly closing my eyes, regretting that. I wait for another punch; maybe he’ll even stab me. I deserve it.

I remember what Titan became after he lost Elsa. I’ve never seen the same boy since. He vanished in his misery and guilt. It was like his mind was a chandelier that snapped, fell, and shattered, breaking into a million pieces. Damian and I had to collect every component, every broken shard and put him back together. Then, we had to hang him back up and teach him how to shine again.

Now his light is trying to blind me.

The lecture begins, but all I can hear are the questions haunting my mind.“What did Mila tell you?” I whisper. Did she tell them lies to bend their heartstrings or purge the nasty truth from her vile lips?

“Talk to her and find out,” Titan retorts.“If you belittle my past with Elsa again,” he stares directly into my eyes,“I will become your adversary, brother.”

I lower my chin slightly.“Stop pushing Mila on me then.”

“I didn’t put a gun to your head and force you to break into her dorm.Youdid that.” Titan responds.

“You haven’t seen pushing,” Damian adds, having snuck closer to my ear.

Time slows to a trickle of water that feels like it’s dripping right into my eye. Pain. Irritation.

Fuck it.

Standing, I storm from the lecture hall and make my way to the art building. With each step around the corner, my heart pounds with a blend of rage and nerves. The skin I used to cleanse in the shower was no longer mine. She shared it with another.

Yes, I made her think our relationship was a game. Part of it was.

Why couldn’t she see that? She was so hardheaded except when it came to seeing the truth.

I spot her art building and hate it; it looks clean, happy, and pristine. It’s fake; no artist with their paints is spotless; it’s the grimy details that make a painting exciting. I shove open the doors, but the glass doesn’t rattle because it’s bulletproof like the rest of this school. The buildings are shells designed to keep us safe and trapped.

---