Page 40 of Ink Deep Devotion

“If anyone bothers you, just tell us,” Damian orders.

“I don’t want blood on my hands.” I’ve said that before, but I wish I hadn’t. I think about my old dance instructor and Jared and how my lack of strength and confidence resulted in their deaths. Maybe if I had acted differently the outcome would be vastly better?

“That’s why you’ll tell us,” Titan playfully replies.

“Here.” Damian thrust a phone into the palm of my hand.

“How…” That’s the phone Dante gave me, which I had tucked away in my dresser.“You searched my room.” I accuse him.

When?

“Always keep it on you. I added our numbers to it. Just call if you need us.” He replies, ignoring my statement.

“Is this a friendship, or are you a jailer?”

Titan exhales thickly.“Fine. We’ll ask next time. We do want you to see us as your friends, and,” his smile widens like an angel selling me a ticket to heaven,“as older brothers who are annoying, protective, invade your space, but it’s all out of love.”

I roll my eyes but slip the phone into my pocket. I want to be mad, but I also just want to be loved, whether it be by a friend or lover. The idea of not suffering Dash’s wrath alone has me holding onto the hope these two men are forcing me to fight for.

“What was it like?” I whisper, worried about their replies.

Damian looks away, but Titan’s eyes find mine.“Hell was kinder, so give Dash time. They stole a part of us, Mila. Ripped our souls from our bones. Made us wailing shells they force a demon inside of. We killed in order to survive. We had no choice. We’re trying to assimilate back into society, but it’s not the same as it was before.”

“I know Dash only survived so he could see you again,” Damian adds slowly so the wind can carry it to my ears.

That makes me feel worse.“I didn’t love Dom. I…I mean, Dom is my friend, so I trusted him.” Damian and Titan glance at each other.“I had this hole inside of me that he filled.”

Titan glares at me.

“I didn’t mean that sexually.”I sigh as I purposefully scuff my shoe on the sidewalk.

Damian slaps Titan’s chest.“We know what you mean, Mila.”

I lick my lips, feeling the need to confess this.“Things just grew between Dom and I. To be honest, I didn’t want to sleep with him, but I just hated everything, and I knew if I slept with him, I’d hate myself more, and that seemed easier than trying to fix myself. I missed Dash,” I shake my head,“and I was so mad at him for leaving with the other girl. I thought I could erase him with another guy, but instead, it only made the memories in my mind more vivid. It was wrong of me to play with Dom’s emotions. He was my friend, and I blurred the lines, ruining what we had.”

“We all make mistakes.” Titan swings his arm over my shoulder.“It’s the ones we choose to forgive that define us.”

“How do you know which ones to forgive?”

“They are usually the ones that pester you the most.”

We almost reach my building when Damian speaks again:“You have five hours free in your schedule since you stopped ballet. What are you planning to do during that time?”

Free. Is time alone in a cage still called freedom?

I shrug as I swing my art bag over my shoulder. I can’t wait to get to my canvas so I can just stop thinking. It’s the only timeI can shut down and free a part of myself that is too scared to shine daily.

“How about you train with me?” Damian suggests, locking his gaze as if he’s worried a predator will jump out and steal me.

“What?”

“Train. Learn to defend yourself. Stand your ground.”

I glance at Titan, who chuckles,“Scared to break a nail?”

“No,” I press my lips together.“I…”

Feet stomp with such a fury behind us that I feel like they have tilted the earth, causing me to slip into its path.“Trying to get another King in your bed, Mila!” Dash sneers, his eyes glued to Titan’s arm slung over my shoulder.

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