Page 174 of Ink Deep Devotion

She releases a sweet laugh, like we’re gossiping over tea.“It wouldn’t matter now if you did. If you want to go back to him, do so.” She tilts her head, looking me up and down.“I know what it’s like to love someone who will never love you fully. Power is a mistress that never ages or dulls; she rivals the finest wine and seduces everyone in her path. No woman can compete with power, Mila. I know why you ran, because I did the same thing.”

I hold my breath, unable to breathe again until she finishes.

“I know what it’s like to look over your shoulder, to cling to the covers tighter than the stitching on the hem, late at night as sweat coats your skin. To dry heave in a sink until your legs are shaking so badly they refuse to hold you up. When you take a shower, it’s fast with haste; that backpack is outside the stall, waiting to be grabbed in case you have to run. When you drink, you swallow the whole cup, just in case it’s your last. You scrape the spoon over the plate to try to taste something other than paranoia and dread. Every sunrise is like a gift from god; everymoon is the devil reminding you that you’re on the run alone in the dark but illuminated, taunting you that you will be found.” A part of her soul leaves her eyes. Utter vacancy takes hold of her.“I know the same fear of digesting all your food yet never feeling full because fear is always hungry, Mila; it will consume you. There is only one way to end it. You need allies in our world.”

“You’ve been a liar, not a friend.”

“I haven’t lied at all.” Camilla challenges.“I didn’t approach you earlier because you still wore that ring. You still loved him. Do you now?” She looks at my empty finger.

Lie!Her words feel like bullets trying to hit Dash.

“No.” I look down with guilt.

I know exactly what she wants. To kill Dash, and I will not allow it! But currently, I’m a ball of sweat and dread. All I can do is punch the air for five minutes before I grow exhausted. So I lie and pray that she believes me until I can come up with a better plan to save him and myself.

“Do you hate him?” Camilla asks. I feel her eyes watching me anxiously, like a vulture waiting for me to release my last exhale so she can begin to pick me apart.

“I’ve always hated him.” That’s true. From the moment I laid eyes on Dash, I despised him because I loved him. One look, and he stole from me, robbed my future.

And I took his.

We’re both guilty.

“You want to destroy his family?” I question.

A smile on her lip flickers like a bulb struggling to remain lit.“The Kings are a casualty in my war.”

Kings. Plural. That means Titan, Nova, and Damian.

No!

I’m staring down a nuke that is aimed at my family. I lick my lips. She notes the movement.“I’m not asking you to kill them. And if I can salvage their lives, I will. I want to bring down The Rites of Passage, and if the Kings decide to fight till the death to save it, then they will die.” Her voice flows confidently, like an ink pen, onto textured paper.

I itch the palms of my hands, looking left to right like a cornered animal.

“I ran before I ever got involved with The Rites of Passage.”

“I know.”

“Then how can I help you?”

She moves suddenly, adjusting her seat, and I jump back, my backpack raised over my chest.“I told you I won’t kill you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re more useful alive. I see myself in you, and I see myself in Avery, too. A scorned woman is toxic. She is a decay that advances and stretches, coating everyone around her in rust and tarnish. A slow death is better than a quick final breath. You and me, we will cause them all to suffer. So I’d rather you remain alive, haunting them like a ghost, causing a slow descent into insanity. I’d rather watch you fly as they fall to their deaths.”

“That’s comforting,” I sneer. She’s a monster, make no mistake.

“It’s the truth. I need your help, and in return, I will make sure you get a good night’s sleep. One day, you won’t have to fear them. Is that what you want?”

Lie! Lie like your life depends on it because Dash’s life does.

“I know it’s hard. You still feel guilt. He doesn’t; Dash felt nothing when he forced you to marry him, then shoved you into a dark corner. He watched you slowly suffer; he was the one that choked you to death. This is your second chance, Mila.”

I struggle to swallow as I shift on my feet. It’s easy to act nervous and perform so that she believes my lie.

“I did love him,” I mutter.I still do, you bitch.

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