Page 11 of Ink Deep Devotion

He grins, looking more monster than man, as he lifts my hips and then pulls me down onto him with a force that knocks the air from my lungs.

Ouch, that hurt.“Yes!” I lie, feeling only pain.

I focus on it. It’s the agony I like to feel. It’s all I have felt since Dash left me so violently.

Dash was the only man who made me feel pleasure. I tried to chase that sensation with Dom, he came into my life like a knight in shining armor. He picked me up, held me for weeks as I cried, forced me to go outside, to feel the sun on my face, and laced up my pointe shoes even when I begged him and told him I didn’t want to dance again. He wasn’t trying to be cruel; Dominic doesn’t know how much I hate to dance. He just figured it was something I loved, and I needed to go back to living again.

Dom stayed by my side night after night until one night, he kissed me and…I kissed him back. I kept going, peeling his clothes off, taking him deep in my mouth, and pushing him for more until he was burying himself deep inside of me.

I hoped he would wash away my memories.

I still hope for that.

Iheard so many girls say the best thing to do after a man broke your heart was to move on and sleep with another.

I did, but my heart still feels broken.

Actually, to be honest, it feels worse.

“My good girl likes it rough.” Dom pants as he ups his movements, shaking even the bed frame as he fucks me.

I wrap my legs around him, squeezing him.

“Come for me. Come!” He roars.

I pause, hoping this time I will orgasm and that the memory of Dash will truly fade.

Dom starts to lose control. So I fake it, jerking my hips up, squeezing my inner muscles tight around him. I bury my face in the crook of his neck as tears spill from my eyes.

I’m so tired of living a lie, but Dom loves me, and I do love him. I treasure our friendship.

Things could be worse.

I know one day, once my battered heart has healed, my body will accept Dom and learn to love him as much as it craved Dash.

???

“Zip me, please.” I turn my back to Dom as I hold up my black, strapless dress. The sensation of his fingertips on my skin gives me chills. With a gentle pull, he closes the zipper and plants a kiss on my shoulder. Dom is always making sweet gestures that most girls would feel giddy about.

I press my palms against my stomach as my breath escapes me heavily.“I’m so nervous,” I whisper as I try to catch my breath. Dom’s dorm room seems to have shrunken all of a sudden. My first art show is tonight, and to top it off, my father will be there. I’m hoping once he sees my work, he will be more receptive to the conversation I want to have with him at dinner.

Dash came into my life like a plague, changing every part of me. Despite his cruelty, he did mend a piece of me. When he said that cutting myself didn’t give me control, he was correct. It actually showed that I was losing control in every way. The dream of escape was replaced by the reality of survival. So I allowed myself to fall head over heels for my art; maybe it was because Dash gave it to me, or maybe I just loved it too much to give it up. I felt in control while making each piece. I was the artist who decided what the canvas should look like.

My art studies gave me the confidence to tell my father I wanted a BFA in both ballet and painting.He was shocked, but he allowed me to pursue it. For the first time in my life, I was doing something I wanted.

I’m not sure if Dom and my father realized that offering a captive a small taste of freedom is riskier than giving them a weapon. I wanted more, not an outlandish amount, but a knot in my gut told me my father might not agree to the topic I wanted to bring up at dinner.

“It’s just a painting show, Mila. Don’t be nervous.” Dom mutters as he slips his fingers between mine. He looks down atme, and then his eyes light up. They always do when he looks at me, like I’m a trophy.“I want to tell your dad tonight.” Dom nods, encouraging, as he squeezes my hand.

My eyes widen.“Not tonight, Dom.” I shake my head.

His eyes narrow but then soften as if he caught himself turning cruel. Softly, he raises his index finger and pushes my chin up so I am forced to look him in the eyes. Silence slips between us as he studies me. Dom has never hurt me, but there are some moments when I see the monster lurking. He’s a man raised in my world, so there has to be a demon hiding somewhere.

“You know he’s dead, right?”He states with a sharp tone that rivals the tip of a long, lethal icicle.

I glance down.“This has nothing to do with,” I gulp,“him.”He can’t be dead. Just because the world hasn’t seen Dash King doesn’t mean he is dead.

“Then say his name if he means nothing.”

---