I turn my head, unable to meet Dom's eyes.There, look at that; focus on Dom’s jacket hanging on your chair. Maybe he won't see the lie in your eyes.The truth is that I abhor my current life, but at the same time, I'm thankful Dom loves me.
I wish I could love him back.
Maybe one day I will, or perhaps I'll just stop trying, allowing myself to be the puppet they all want me to be.
I stare at the patch sewn on the front of the jacket, which shows off Empire University’s logo. The school is basically the same as Silverstone Preparatory. The students are largely the same, with similar goals.
No scholarship kids this time. No Jared to lie and trick his way into my life.
No Dash King.
I was right. Love is paper thin.
Dom took that paper and clutched it tight. He held onto me even though Dash threw it away.
It doesn't matter if you find all the torn pieces and tape yourself back together again. Deception runs ink-deep; its stain plunges into you, spreading so wide that you will never have a clean start again. Just blacken fibers that were once something pure and untouched.
Now, it's just dirty and disgusting.
“Is that good, baby?” Dom gently whispers in my ear.
I nod again. I always was good at playing the roll of a doll.
At least that’s what I keep telling myself when he slides into me again and again. My head rolls to the other side, and I spot the bottle of lube on the nightstand. I’m never wet enough for it not to hurt. I never had this issue with Dash, but I had so many other issues.
“I love you.” Thrust.
I can’t say it back. Dom knows it. He hasn’t pressured me to say it back. Instead, I arch my back and release a fake moan of pleasure.
I hate myself for this. I’m lying to my best friend, and to myself whom I lost respect for.
“You’re so tight, so perfect. God, you feel so good. You’re so good, baby.” Dom praises me again and again. He talks more during sex than I’d like. When Dash fucked me, we barely spoke because our passion consumed us.
“I need you on top; I’m close.” He taps my hip, then rolls us.
I… absolutely loathe this.
I hate being on top, but it’s the only way Dom can come. I feel like I’m on a stage just for his eyes. I fear one day he’s going to see just how fake I am.
I roll my hips as I widen my legs, trying to readjust. His hands grab my waist as he guides me up and down, back and forth, over his cock.
“So good.” He closes his eyes sighing with relief like I’m some god that has granted him redemption.
I’m no god, nor angel.
I’m just…I don’t know anymore.
For what feels like a blink of an eye I felt alive, like I was on the mend. Then it all stopped and I broke more than I could have imagine.
I want to scream,Stop telling me I’m good! I feel the farthest from it.
Instead, I reach down and run my fingers through his hair as I play the role of the wanting lover who is panting for his hard cock.“Harder, fuck me harder, Dominic.” He likes when I moan his full name. I just give him what he wants, which is me.
It’s easy. I’m used to giving everyone what they expect of me.
His eyes snap open as his lip curls up,“Beg me.” He sits up, trapping me on his lap.
“Make me come,” I whisper, hoping he doesn’t hear the tears behind my eyes.“Please.”Please erase Dash from my mind. Please make me come this time so I don’t have to fake it.