I wanted him more than my next breath, but the idea of breaking our contact long enough to remove our clothing was almost too much.
A low growl built in his chest… his wolf was so close to the surface… close enough I could scent him.
And then he was gone… off of me and on all fours.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, standing up and running his hands through his hair, his eyes almost amber… all wolf.
I started to get up, wanting to go to him and he shook his head.
“Let me rein him in.” He walked off, coming back less than a minute later.
Longest forty-seven seconds ever. And yes… I counted.
“Sorry.” He gathered our garbage. “I don’t know why he got extra insistent today.”
“I don’t understand.” I got up to help.
“My wolf—he wanted to mate you.”
My stomach dropped. Wolves mate for life. If he marked me… and I… it would destroy him. Fuck. Sometimes I hated being a unicorn.
“Please. Don’t say anything. Let’s just go.” He didn’t meet my eyes.
I was pretty sure I couldn’t fuck things up any more if I tried.
Neil
It’s best you find someone else to continue your treatment.
I wrapped my arms around my knees unsure what to do next. I was pretty certain hanging out in my bathtub, fully dressed was not the right response to getting shut down by your therapist.
Self sabotage is what they called it in the documentary I recently saw. I knew that discussing my feelings with my therapist was not going to end well. Even if he had been head over heels in love with me, he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.
And he wasn’t. Of course he wasn’t. Nor was I. I‘d taken his kindness and my ability to not be in full on panic mode in his office as a sign of having feelings.
But now I had no therapist and after calling around, the best I could get was being put on a waitlist. Why? Because I did something I knew was a shitastic idea.
The part of it I didn’t understand was why I was crying. He wasn’t mean about it and not once since he said I was being inappropriate did I wish he had told me he felt it too. My tears made no sense. None.
My phone buzzed for the fifth time. It would be Archer. I told him we could grab dinner together tonight and it was getting to be that time. But the phone was on the counter and I was in the tub and forcing myself to get it took more energy than I had.
So, I ignored it.
I ignored it for the tenth buzz…. the fifteenth… the sixteenth and then the banging started.
Were they working on something? The termites had been bad, but they supposedly caught them early so the noise shouldn’t have anything to do with that. So what was the banging?
The door. No. Not the door. My door.
I rallied and got myself up and out of the tub. As I opened the bathroom door, I heard my name between pounding. It was Archer.
I should’ve just answered him the first dozen times he texted.
“I’m coming,” I unchained the lock and then swung open the door and it wasn’t just Archer, Ivor stood behind him holding two large paper bags. “Sorry. I was in the bathroom.” I stepped into the apartment knowing they would just come on in.
“You look awful.” Ivor set the food on the counter. “Need us to take you to a doctor?”
And just like that the tears were back.