Page 311 of As The Shifter World Turns

“I knew we should have bought that deep fryer.”

My mate folded his arms as I shoved him out of the way. “Oh, you mean the deep fryer I said was a waste of money?” He tapped his lips which irritated me. “And why did I say that? Let me think. I’ve got it. Because we hardly ever do any deep frying.”

He was right but I refused to admit it and that pissed me off even more. “But it would have saved time, both the cooking and cleaning.”

Nate began setting the table and from the corner of my eye, I noted he got out cutlery, plates, and napkins. But as I was being pissy, I said, “Not those napkins. Use the yellow ones. They’re much nicer.”

My mate shot me a glance that saidReally? Followed by my bear sayingReally?

What would you know about napkins? I asked.

My grizzly shrugged and would have gone back to sleep but the fishy aroma that was wafting from the frying pan had him wanting to shift.

Not tonight.

That put my beast in a mood. We were bad mood buddies.

Nate screwed up his nose. “Daire, the fish is burning.”

Fuck! Fuck! Fuckity fuck. “I like it well done.” Shit, I’d ruined the food and I was acting like a toddler having a tantrum. Even Charlie was more mature. I turned off the gas and eyed the smoking pile of what was supposedto be our dinner.

The smell was making me want to puke so I opened a window and stuck my head outside. It wasn’t enough. Within seconds, I was on the porch, gulping in mouthfuls of air while trying to rid my nostrils of the stink of burned fish. I was close to puking but held it together.

Sitting on a chair, I put my head in my hands. Nate and I were so lucky in many ways. We were mated, lived in a nice place, we both had fulfilling jobs and yet the one thing I wanted that I’d give up everything else for, I couldn’t have. Our lives had been consumed by making a baby these past months. At least mine had. Nate wanted a child but he was prepared to wait for it to happen.

Much as I wanted to sit on the porch and sulk, I had to go back and apologize. Gods, I didn’t want to. I wanted to stamp my feet, pummel and punch the wall, and yell.

Don’t.

My bear was more mature than me. But he was right. I had to omega up and go back to Nate. And apologize. When I walked in the door, Nate was tapping on his phone. He ignored me and I hoped he wasn’t booking a hotel room for himself.

When he finally spoke it was to tell me he’d ordered dinner. “It’ll be here in fifteen minutes.” He tossed the fish in the garbage. But that simple act annoyed me. I grabbed the pan from his hand and succeeded in splashing my arm with oil. Luckily it’d had a while to cool while I was out on the porch sulking.

“Fuck.” I slammed the pan down. I had to dispose of the oil but half of it was still in the pan and the rest was in the sink. I was running out of fucks. “Nate, I can’t do this any more.”

“What?” There was a tremor in his voice. “What are you saying?”

I wasn’t sure. I loved him with all my heart but the last months neither of us were happy. Something had to change and that something was me.

“I don’t know.” That was probably the most honest thing I’d said lately. “I have to get out of here.”

“Are you leaving me?” he asked in a voice little more than a whisper.

“No. I love you but I need space tonight. I hate myself. Every word out of my mouth is coated in venom.” Taking a pillow from the bedroom and a spare quilt, I got my phone and keys. “I’ll be in 3B for the night.” I could have paid for an expensive hotel or gone to the lake house, but I needed no distractions. 3B had a bed and it was clean. And while I wasn’t saying it, I wanted to be nearby. Close to my mate.

I gave him a kiss and after one glance at his devastated face, I left. It was a shitty thing to do but if I stayed, we’d be arguing more than we had been.

Ivor was just coming in as I stomped up the manor front steps. He took one look at my face and didn’t say a word. Ivor understood my moods having shared 1A with me. Me carrying a quilt and a pillow would have given my friend a hint that something was wrong. I shook my head and tore up the twoflights of stairs.

Shoving the bedding into 3B, I went onto the roof and leaned on the railing, studying the house next door. The one where I lived with Nate and where Nate was right now. The angle was wrong and I couldn’t see inside. I was on the roof and there were a couple of stories beneath me whereas Nate was on the first floor. The light was on in the kitchen and the bedroom. I was tempted to text him but when I typed out,I’m sorry, I deleted it.

Back in 3B, I wrapped myself in the quilt and crawled onto the bed. My stomach grumbled and it was then I remembered I hadn’t eaten. Should have thought this through. I could order food and I got my phone and scrolled through the food delivery app.

“Knock knock. Can I come in? I come bearing food.”

“Nate?”

“No, it’s the Easter Bunny.” He wandered into the bedroom, a pizza box in his hand. My mouth watered. I’d been a complete ass and he’d brought me food. I thought I felt bad about my behavior before, but now I felt worse.

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