Page 253 of As The Shifter World Turns

Ryder

Ivor’s foot was tapping against the floor as we waited in the doctor’s office. “Babe, it’ll be fine,” I assured him.

“How can you say that?” he shrieked. “You have cancer, Ryder.”

And there it was. The big C word that no one wanted. “I know.” My reply was more terse than I intended but I thought I was allowed a little leeway ‘cause I was the one with fucking cancer.

I thought back to how we got here. I’d noticed what I thought was a freckle on my arm. But it got bigger, darker, and had an irregular shape. I didn't go out in the sun much so I wasn’t worried until one Friday night on the manor roof, Nate noticed it and said I should get it checked out. That led to an immediate biopsy, a skin cancer diagnosis and a removal of a big chunk of flesh from my arm.

We were waiting to hear if I needed chemo or what. All I could think of was updating my will and wondering how Ivor would cope if I died.

Along with the big C came the big D word and it was scary. I was young and never expected to be confronted with my death for decades. That was probably the way most people looked at their life until it went ass up and they were forced into a new reality.

My stag was completely freaked, and while he didn’t understand cancer, instinct told him we were in danger. As well as keeping my emotions under control, I had to soothe Ivor’s anxiety and my beast.

We’d left Dyani with Archer, figuring she'd bebored and we’d need time alone after hearing what the doc had to say. But along with my mate, I needed my little girl and wished she was here so I could cuddle her.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

The doctor put on his reading glasses and studied the computer screen. I wanted to shake him or shove him out of the way so I could read what he was reading.

“Good news!”

I’m not going to die.Someone up there was looking out for me.

Ivor leaped up. “You got it all?”

The doc replied in a calmer tone than my mate, which wasn’t surprising. “No. It has spread but we’re confident we can get rid of it with radiation therapy five days a week. Each session will be about ten minutes.”

It wasn’t the best news but it was pretty great and Ivor fell into my arms. His shoulders shook and I inhaled his aroma. Ivor and our daughter were all I wanted and I’d been given a reprieve. With my eyes closed, I concentrated on the noises from the waiting room, cars on the road and drilling coming from the parking lot. They were all signs of life. “I love you Ivor.”

“Love you too,” he mumbled as he sat down.

I addressed the doctor. “Ten minutes? That’s great. I can go back to work straight afterward.”

“I can’t predict how you’ll react, Ryder because everyone is different. But I suspect you’re going to be tired.”

“Oh.”

Ivor jumped in. “We can get someone to help run the app business for the next few months. Or I’ll do it and we find someone to replace me.”

“That won’t be necessary. I can do this.”

114

BEEP BEEP

Martin

3b was nice and all, but it was also worse than being elsewhere. I was so close to everything I wanted and yet nowhere near it. It was a struggle not to walk to my old place and beg to be let back in, especially when I was alone.

So, I tried not to be by myself. The mornings were easy. I’d pick up Toby and take him to school. More often than not we would drive through some place to get a bite to eat and something to drink. I wanted to have him at my place for breakfast instead, to make it feel more like I cared and not just an afterthought, but I doubted Neil would allow that.

In any case, that had become our routine and doing the same thing every day was nice. Goodness knew there was nothing routine about my job. It was work and I could never say I wasn’t available, even if it meant missing something that mattered more to me, like Friday nights on the roof or taking Toby to the movies.

But right now it paid my bills, helped support the people I loved, and was enough to have health insurance. And I was putting some away for the future. Quitting wasn’t really an option. Or so I kept telling myself. Neil didn’t feel that way and a niggling feeling was telling me that maybe he was right.

Not enough of a feeling to stop.

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