Page 297 of As The Shifter World Turns

“Oh, babe. That must have been hard. I’m sorry I’m not with you.”

In a way it was better I was by myself. If Nate witnessed how upset I was, he might blame himself for not getting me pregnant or some weird shit.

“It’s fine. People around me will have babies. I can’t make this about me. Or us,” I added. I had to consider Nate’s feelings too. “Are you upset?”

He thought for a moment. “I’m sorry we’re not pregnant but I have brothers and one of them or their mates is always pregnant. Maybe I’m a little more prepared for other people’s good news.”

“I miss you.”

“Miss you too. And I love you with all my heart.” He blew me a kiss.

136

DOCTOR’S ORDERS

Nate

“Your appointment is scheduled for the 18th at 2:45pm. If you can not make this appointment, please call in to reschedule. Please note that current appointments are being scheduled three months out.” The message went on to explain all about the no-show penalty.

I could recite it by heart.

We both could.

Having to come in to get test results wasn’t something the doctor mentioned in our original visit. He just said he’d let us know. A call having us come in… it felt like a ginormous red flag. And of course, with cancer being so close to home, that’s where my mind went first.

Just thinking of the possibility of my Daire being sick had me unable to focus on anything other than this stupid visit in the week since we got the call.

That was another thing. If they were booking three months out, how did they fit us in so soon? The entire thing was a horrible mess.

“What are you hoping to hear?” I came up behind my mate, who was holding his phone listening to the message on speaker. I wrapped my arms around him and he sunk into me.

“I just want to be prepared before we go and was hoping… I don’t know… maybe there was a hint in her voice or something.” I understood what he meant completely. I’d done the very same thing.

“We’ll find out in an hour.” I kissed the top of his head. “And once we know, we can move on from there.”

Daire handed me his phone. “You keep it so I stop listening. It’s not like this will change anything.”

“Let’s leave early and grab a coffee or something.” Getting him out of the apartment would at least give him new scenery to focus on.

“Okay.”

We drove through our favorite shop, both of us getting milk tea instead of coffee, and then drove to a small park near the doctor’s office to walk around. Our beasts would do well with the air.

“At least it’s nice out.” Daire held his tea with both hands. “This was a good idea. Thank you. I spent so much time worrying about things I can’t control instead of focusing on the things I could.”

It was difficult not to. Before we were even able to get our first appointment with the specialist, they made me leave a sample of my contribution, needing to make sure it wasn’t me who was the problem. The dread of going to that visit, thinking it was my fault we weren’t going to be able to have kids… yeah I understood what he was feeling and wished I could take it from him.

“I think that’s only natural. The good thing is, today we will get some information. We can make decisions with information. Right now we’re floundering inwhat ifland.” And it was getting us nowhere but stressed.

“I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be doing this with, but if… if it does turn out I’m broken.” Daire stopped in his tracks, his eyes on the ground. “I’d understand if you had second thoughts about—us.”

I stepped in front of him and tilted his head up with my finger. “Never. Never think such a thing. You are not broken. We’ve talked about this. Maybe we won’t be able to have a baby in the fashion we originally assumed we would, but that has absolutely nothing to do with how much I do or don’t love you.” I pressed my forehead against his. “And for the record it’s completely—I love you completely.”

I brushed his lips with my own and before I could deepen it, my phone started to buzz in my pocket. It was time to go.

It took us no time to get to the office. Gathering the strength to go inside, that took a bit more.

We were immediately shuffled into the back as soon as we arrived, but instead of going to the doctor’s office, we were sent into another small office.

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