Page 293 of As The Shifter World Turns

“Mmmm.” But I’d asked him to leave it at home today as I wanted his focus to be on enjoying the day out with his brother and dad.Shit.

“Where were they going?”

“Mini golf first. Then lunch and a movie.” The movie was for Charlie, and I suspected Martin would fall asleep in the middle.

Ivor suggested phoning the movie theater. Why hadn’t I thought of that? Of course. But when I called, I never got to speak to a human, and after listening to different options and pushing 1 and then 3 and who knew what else, I cut the call. Too hard. I’d drive there instead.

But by now my head was filled with gruesome images of my mate’s car wrapped around a tree and my boys being transported to hospital with sirens blaring. Maybe me driving down town wasn’t the most sensible option.

“Please let them be okay,” I whispered to the universe. “Please. They’re my world.”

I stumbled down the stairs, past Daire and Nate’s door and outside onto the sidewalk. Ivor was there waving Ryder’s keys. “I’ll drive.”

But as he started the car and I got in beside him, Martin drove around the corner. Toby leaped out and ran toward me as my mate took Charlie from his car seat.

“Sorry we’re late, TD.” Toby gave me a big hug.

Charlie reached out for me and as I held him, I put an arm around my older son, and breathed them in.

“We went for ice cream after the movie,” Toby explained.

“And then we got a flat tire.” Martin enveloped us in his arms. “Toby was a trooper and entertained Charlie while I fixed the tire. Tried to borrow someone’s phone to call you but they told me to piss off. I knew you’d be worried.”

“What happened to yours?”

“Left it at the cinema,” he explained. “Have to go back tomorrow.”

Ivor went back inside the manor as we walked up the stairs to our apartment. “Maybe next time you take the kids out, Toby should take his phone,” I suggested.

“That’s what I said this morning, TD.” My older son giggled as I ruffled his hair.

134

BABY, MAYBE?

Nate

I felt crushed leaving the doctor’s office.

We had gone there hoping for them to say, “You’re pregnant” just like all the stories we found on the internet. Cognitively we knew that wasn’t how it worked. They were the rare couple who sought fertility treatments only to discover they were already pregnant—still it was what I longed for.

Instead we heard, “Let’s do a bunch of tests and we might possibly be able to do something… or not. We don’t know.” The doctor said it nicer than that, of course, but the sentiment was there.

Daire didn’t say a word. Not as we left the office and not as we drove home. And that was the worst part. I hated to see him like this. I hated it more than anything.

When we got home, I took him by the hand and led him inside. Once the door clicked closed, he collapsed into my arms.

“I thought it would be different,” he sobbed. “I thought I was strong enough but he kept talking to us so clinically and not once did he say it would all be okay. Not once. What if I can’t do this? What if the tests all say I’m broken? What if we can’t do this?”

I hugged him close, telling him how much I loved him and we’d be together through all of this… he’d never be alone. The helplessness inside of me swelled until I almost broke into tears with him. But I couldn’t allow that. He needed me to be strong for him—for both of us.

When his tears slowed, I scooped him up into my arms and brought him to the bathroom. “Let’s get you a shower.”

He’d been poked and prodded and invaded during his testing. Getting cleaned up might help.

“Okay.” He didn’t argue, letting me take him under the steamy water and washing his hair and body, wiping the day away. When the water started to chill slightly, I shut it off and dried him.

“Let’s take a nap.” He nodded and we both padded to the bedroom and climbed into bed. I held him close as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

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