Page 265 of As The Shifter World Turns

“I missed waking up with you.”

“Mmmm.” Wait, who said that? I shot up, yanking a blanket off the bed as I did and putting it in front of me. Shoot, I was naked and Martin was in the bed. What had we done? It didn’t take detective skills to understand we’d fucked. And now memories of last night were flitting into my head. Gods, it was good. But was it right? Not that it was wrong but was the timing right?

Martin had just been released on bail so emotions were high. He was worried about the future, certain that he’d lost his job, while I had no idea what the future looked like. Sure, I could co-parent with my mate but sleeping together didn’t solve our issues. It just complicated them.

“You regret us having sex?” he said, and then glanced away.

“No. Yes. I don’t know.”

Martin sat up, making sure to cover his dick with the sheet. “I loved being with you and want to come home. I want to be a full-time dad and mate. I die a little every day that I’m not with you and the boys.”

120

IS THIS THE END?

Martin

Nothing felt better than being in each other’s arms even if it was too soon. There was so much hurt between us, most all of it my fault. I really messed up allowing my stupid ego and money getting in the way. He was my family, the kids were my family, and I’d been delusional to think that money was the important part of it all.

I spent the next day job hunting. Shockingly, my agent loved that I’d been arrested, citing that all publicity was good publicity and that I could book any gig I wanted now.

Thing was, I didn’t want to book any more gigs. I wanted a job that would give me insurance for my family and pay my bills, but also allow me to stay in the workplace. I didn’t want to be on call or to travel or be expected to live a certain lifestyle. I just wanted to be me… with a job.

I applied for everything I could find from stocking shelves to corporate jobs. I had enough money saved so as long as it came with health insurance, and it paid enough until I could get a job I loved, that would be fine. By the end of the day I had an offer at a coffee shop. I didn't know enough about coffee other than I liked it, but they remembered me from all the times driving through and hired me not on experience but as the day manager called it my “not a dick” status. I didn’t correct them. I had been a dick to the people who mattered most, but that wouldn’t impact my ability to do the job.

I waited until I knew the kids were asleep before going over to see Neil. They’d been through enough ups and downs without seeing me groveling for a second—no sixtieth chance.

I’m outside your door. Can we talk?

I hit send and was happy hearing the sound of the chain on the door instead of a text telling me that it wasn’t a good idea.

“Everything okay?” he asked, the door only part way open.

“It’s getting better. Can we talk?”

He let me in. We went into the living room and sat down, not next to each other, but I couldn’t expect anything different.

“I got a job today.”

He crossed his arms. He thought I was leaving again and why shouldn’t he? It had been my pattern.

“I mean, I told the agency I didn’t want to work for them and applied for every job I could find. And I have one that starts in two days. You’re looking at the next barista for Coffee Makes it Betta.”

“You—you quit your job?”

“I had to. It made me a person I didn’t want to be. They loved that I was arrested. Loved it.”

“They loved it?” He inched closer. “That’s… that’s…”

“That’s awful. My new job doesn’t pay much but it has insurance and I might get one of the corporate jobs I applied for.”

“This is great, but it doesn’t mean we can just be together again. There’s a lot to mend.”

I hated how right he was.

“No. I know that. I need to earn back your trust and be the father I should’ve always been.”

He came up and sat beside me. “You’ve always loved our boys. You were just… things weren’t good.”

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