Page 183 of As The Shifter World Turns

Or the most probable: I want to be a dad.

Because right now, that desire was taking over my entire being: I wanted to be a dad.

77

THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF WORKING PARENTS

Ivor

“Do we really need to discuss that now, love? It’s not happening for a few months.”

That was my mate’s response whenever I mentioned going back to work. “The few months have passed and the time is now, Ryder.”

His face registered shock. “What? No? Dyani’s too young.” He picked her up and she gurgled and tried to grab his nose.

I put my hands on my hips and counted to ten. Ryder was disagreeing because he loved our daughter and wanted one of us with her at all times. And he was worried about me taking on too much.He’s doing this out of love.

My wolf hated being parted from our daughter as well so it was two against one. I was outnumbered but determined to get my point across. “Babe, you’d think I was going to waltz out the door saying make your own lunch and don’t have any parties while I’m gone.”

“What?”

“Joke, love. I was joking. You remember what a joke is, right?”

He didn't reply but held Dyani tightly to his chest and his stag was close to the surface. “You and I will be chaperoning any parties our child and any future children attend.”

“Good to know, love.” I kissed his cheek. “But can we talk about the here and now?” I loved being with our daughter but I needed a break from diapers, feeding, spit up, and walks to the park. “Remember, I’ll be working from home three days a week, so it'll only be two days when we need a sitter.”

As I was making coffee and Ryder was getting ready to go to theoffice, I thought of how I’d turned around my insecurities. I wouldn’t get rid of them entirely but I’d gone from never wanting to be apart from Dyani and not trusting my mate to know what was best for her, to needing a little breathing space.

And while I had to credit Joy, my therapist, for guiding me, I was proud of having put in the work and getting over that huge hump. There would be other bumps in the road, but I was certain I was equipped to handle them.

“Who would we get to look after Dyani when you’re at the office?” Ryder asked as he walked into the kitchen and took a bite of my toast.

“Hey. Get your own.” Twisting my head, I noted my mate was only wearing his boxers and if it hadn’t been a work day, I would have jumped him. “But getting back to the issue of a sitter, all the agencies in town vet the people on their books.”

He screwed up his face.

“You come up with a suggestion,” I told him as I sipped my coffee.

“It’s the jam. Let’s not buy this one again. Yuck”

“Fine.” We were getting off the subject, and I suspected he was doing it on purpose to avoid discussing it. “But I’ll be juggling Dyani and work three days a week, so why don’t you take her the two days I’m in the office.”

It was a throwaway remark because taking the baby and all her stuff from home to Ryder’s office was very different to me working in our apartment where she could sleep in her own room and everything she needed was here. I could wear sweats most days and it wouldn’t matter if I brushed my hair.

“Okay.”

“You’re going to be late.” I held out my arms for the baby but he didn’t hand her over. Instead he inhaled her aroma. “As you’re the boss, I guess you can stroll in at nine-thirty.” Ryder was a stickler for being on time and hated when anyone kept him waiting so it wasn’t like him to be dawdling.

Something was niggling at me. Something I had to do or say or think about. I searched for the memory but couldn't find it. But as I rinsed my coffee cup, it hit me. The thing I’d been trying to recall. I swirled around. “Okay? What did you mean by okay?”

“Huh?” My mate was kissing Dyani’s tummy and she was squealing and giggling. It was a heartwarming moment and I let them have their fun.

“When I said you could take her to the office, you said okay. Spell it out for me, please.”

“You made a suggestion and I agreed. Pretty simple.”

I sank onto a kitchen chair and rested my arms on the table. “You’d take our daughter to work. Two days a week?”

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