Page 7 of Inconveniently Matched

“You’re not serious.”

“We are.”

“Why?”I’m going around in circles with these three.

“How could we not want to marry you?You’reeverythingwe want in a bride.”

“Ugh, you’re making fun of me.Well, just so you know, I’m interpreting this as a hostile situation and will act accordingly.If you go ahead with this marriage, I’m going to make your life a living hell until you’re so tortured that you beg me to leave.

“But you know I’m going to stay an extra week just to mess with you further.Trust me, you don’t want this side of me.You have a chance to change your mind.Not choosing a clear exit from this contract isn’t going to end nicely for you.”

“We’ll take our chances.”

“Fine.”I cross my arms over my chest, jut my hip out, opting for a challenging stance.“You want to do this the hard way?”

I pause, desperately hoping they’re intimidated as we engage in a staring contest.Seconds stretch into a minute.I can’t keep this up.My eyes are stinging.

Crap.

“Okay, look, if you think this marriage is your ticket to free boinking whenever you want, it’s not going to be that way.”

“It’s not?”Dean asks.

“No, it’s not,” I say eagerly, thinking I might be getting through to them until I realize Dean is smiling at me.

“So you’re bad at cooking, cleaning, andboinking,” Camden says, counting my flaws off his fingers.Oh, so Camden is the funny guy in the group.

“I’m bad at cooking and cleaning.I haven’t had any sex to know how I’ll fare there, but I don’t know if you know this, but I’m a matchmaker.I run a matchmaking company, Leashed to Love, with my best friends, Tierney and Clementine, and our dogs, so I know my stuff.

“Like chemistry.A girl meets a guy or more than one guy, and if she’s attracted to him—them—her nipples will harden, and her panties will get wet.She’ll get all coy and flirty.Lick her lips, play with her hair.Am I doing any of those things?No.Because I’m not attracted to ridiculously handsome men like you.So if we marry, it will be like having a roommate with zero benefits."

“You’re not attracted to us?”Camden asks, exaggerating how taken aback he is by my declaration.

“Yes, that’s what I said.Other people might find you hot and sexy and handsome, but not me.And I can prove it.My nipples are not hard,” I say as I grope myself.“I’m not playing with my hair, being all coy,” I point to my hair still in a bun under my Mary Poppins hat.“And...and...”

I have no earthly idea what I’m doing, but it’s too late for recourse.I slip my hands under the thick, voluminous skirt, tuck my fingers into the waistband of my underwear, do some wiggling, and peel them off.

“See?Zero attraction,” I say, holding my undergarment out for them to see.

Except...except, my panties are wet.Oh god.Not a dry spot anywhere in the gusset of my underwear.

What?How?When?

I act fast and continue my play.“Bone dry.Attraction?Zilch,” I say as I quickly stuff them into my pocket.I’ll have to burn them later.

“Now, will you sign the document that says you won’t be marrying me after all, so I can collect the concession money and be on my way?”

“After putting forward such a compelling and eloquent case as to why we shouldn’t marry you, you’ve piqued our interest.We like a challenge.The marriage goes ahead as planned.”

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