But as time has gone on and Keeley and I have put some of Noeleen and Douglas’s love story together, I realize I no longerneedthose answers. While it would have been nice to know what happened to break them apart—and why she left Serendipity Springs and never once talked about it—I’m no longer disappointed that we never found out.
Because what Ihavefound this summer is about so much more than just Gran.
I’ve learned about myself. Learned about why I’ve been the way I’ve been for the last couple of years. Numb. Aimless. Throwing myself into a job that doesn’t inspire me, closing my creative channels that provoked all of my emotions. I thought that if I didn’t feel anything, I could be a pillar of strength for my family to lean on, but in that process, I ended up shutting myself off from moving forward in my life. Shutting myself off from my own happiness.
Now, I’ve opened myself up to my feelings—to happiness—again. And it’s Keeley I have to thank for it.
Because I also realize that there’s something else I’ve opened myself up to: love.
“Serendipity Springs has a habit of doing that to people,” Cash says, raising his shoulder in a shrug like he’s totally unsurprised to hear that I’m not ready to go.
“What do you mean?”
“When I first moved to town, I thought I would be there temporarily.”
“And then you met Nori?” I guess.
“Yes. Nori made me want to change my goals, my plans. And in the process of changing those,Ichanged. My life became something different than it had been before, or how I envisioned it being.” Cash looks at me again with that shrewd gaze of his. “And I became a better man for it.”
“I’m happy for you guys,” I tell him.
“You know, Nori says that, lately, Keeley is happier than she’s ever seen her.”
“Really?” I ask, unable to hide my stupid smile.
Cash nods. “She and Andrew weren’t a great match.”
I think back to my surprising conversation with Keeley’s ex last week—how he owned his past faults and seemed to credit Lisa with helping him work through it. Like being with the right person, the right match for him, made him a better person. Just like Cash said being with Nori made him change for the better.
“Yeah, I think she’s better off without him,” I agree.
“Or, just throwing something crazy out there.” His expression turns playful. “Maybe she’s better offwithyou, you doofus.”
His words feel like wind in my sails, inflating parts of me that felt flat and lifeless for way too long.
For so long after Roisin left me, I told myself that it was because I was a bad partner. That I wasn’t cut out to be with someone.
And while some of that is absolutely true—I wasn’t there for her emotionally when I should have been—that doesn’t meanIcan’t change. That I can’t be good with, or for, someone else.
The reason I thought I made a terrible boyfriend was because I was closed off emotionally, but Keeley cracks open all of my deepest, darkest emotions without even trying. By just beingher.
She makes me believe in better.
BelieveIcan be better.
Maybe it wasn’t so much that I was unfit for love, but that real love simply hadn’t found me yet. And what I feel for Keeley is undeniably real love.
It’s a startling realization that should have been simple.
What’s for you won’t pass you.
Maybe the flipside is: what’s not for you will just… pass.
Fate will have its way with you either way.
“Earth to Becks!” Cash waves a tan hand in front of my face, smirking. “Lost you for a moment.”
I blink. “Sorry, did you say something?”