Page 9 of On the Edge

“Getting up. I’ll need a double espresso to get going today.”

I picture him fumbling around his room, pulling his sweats on as he stands barefoot on the travertine floors of his bedroom while the dark beams of his ceiling hang over his head. He’s always groggy in the morning, stumbling around, like his body needs to warm up before the adrenaline rush that fuels him floods his system.

“Sorry about waking you up,” I tell him. “But don’t have a double, or you’ll be impossible today.”

He chuckles. “Good thing you’re not here then, because I’m having a double.” He pauses for a beat. “I miss you. Can’t wait to see you in Finland next month.”

“Yeah, I hope so,” I tell him.

“What do you mean? Is that race in question?”

The first men’s World Cup Slalom and Giant Slalom races are in Levi, Finland in three and a half weeks. “Everything’s a question right now. I have no idea what events Nate will be racing in yet.” Just because Josh was going to Levi doesn’t mean Nate is. “And I’m still hoping I can get out of training him. I have to try to switch roles with someone else ... maybe Nicolette,” I say as the plan starts to formulate in my head. Nicolette is the physical therapist assigned to work with the sports medicine division that helps injured athletes recuperate at the Center. But maybe she’d be game for traveling as Nate’s PT instead? “Which would keep me here in Park City for the winter instead of on the World Cup circuit.”

“I understand why you want this change, but you staying in Park City will makeourrelationshipmuch more difficult. I can’t only see you once every couple of months.” His voice has that pleading quality he only gets when he’s asking for something he really wants.

“I know. We’ll figure it out, promise. Let me talk to TJ tomorrow and see what my options are.”

“I don’t like that you’re letting Nate influence your career like this,” Marco says.

“You aren’t suggesting I work with him, are you?” I ask Marco.

“I don’t know. I just want you to be happy.”

“Iamhappy, Marco,” I tell him, and am rewarded with his trademark sound of disagreement, thatHmmthat rattles from the back of his throat.

I could be happy,I want to say,if I wasn’t so worried about my mom and if my ex-boyfriend hadn’t just walked back into my life.

CHAPTER4

JACKSON

Park City, Utah

I arrive at the Center an hour early, and find TJ exactly where I know he’ll be, in the free weight section of the gym getting his own workout in before the athletes arrive.

“You just going to stand there staring at me, or do you want to come make yourself useful?” he calls from his horizontal position on the bench. I don’t know how he can even see me behind him.

“You know what I’m going to say about this workout, don’t you?” I ask as I walk from the doorway toward the bench press.

“Save your lectures, Jackson Hole,” he says as he lifts the bar from the rack above his head.

“If one of our athletes bench-pressed this much weight without a spotter, you’d rip them a new asshole. One wrong move and you could crush your ribcage, or worse, your neck.”

“Yeah, well,” he grunts out as he holds the bar high above his chest, “I didn’t know you’d be happening along. Lucky me.”

“Lucky you indeed.” I throw his sarcasm back at him and slip my hands under the bar while he lifts it to its full height.

His face contorts into a grimace as he lowers it down toward his chest before pushing it back up. “What’s on your mind?” he grunts out before lowering the bar for his second rep.

“What makes you think I have something on my mind?” I ask, keeping my voice light and casual.

“You have your thinking face on,” he says once the bar is back up and he’s taken a deep breath. “Spit it out.”

“I can’t train Nate,” I tell TJ. “You know our history. There’s no way we can have a positive professional relationship. He needs someone who can support him unconditionally, who wants the best for him, and who will stop at nothing to help him win. I’m not the right person for that job.”

He opens his mouth to say something, but I barrel on. “I think Nicolette could be perfect for this position, though. She has so much experience training injured athletes, and for all intents and purposes Nate has been an injured athlete for years. He needs someone like her. I could stay behind and work with the recovering athletes. I know them all pretty well, and I have the skill set to oversee their recovery. It’s a perfect swap.”

When the weight bar reaches its full height again, TJ eases it back onto the rack and sits up with a huge groan. He only did four reps, so I know he’s not racking the weights because he’s done working out. The fact that he needs to sit up for what he’s about to say is not a good sign.

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