Page 56 of Broken Player

But she deserved better.

She wasn't slowing down, but I needed to. I had to earn her trust, and to do that, I had to put her above myself. That wasn't something I'd ever tried to do before. I was a selfish motherfucker who got whatever he wanted. But if I wanted Ryan, I had to change starting right now.

I moved back, pulling her shirt back into place and slowing our kisses down until I placed one more on her lips and let her down. She looked incredible. Her hair was wild, and her lipswere pink and swollen, and my chest swelled becauseIdid that to her. I had as much of an effect on her as she did on me.

I rested my forehead against hers and closed my eyes while we both caught our breath. Her fingers moved lightly through the hair at the back of my neck as we stood in each other's arms, not saying anything. There wasn't anything else to say.

I had to figure out what her dickhead fiance had that I didn't and fast. With only a week until the wedding, I was starting to panic that I might actually lose her to another man. If that happened, I'd be broken.

As she shifted in my arms, I swore she was made for me, and I never wanted to let her go. No matter what it took, Ryan would always be mine, but the clock was ticking.

The past week had gone by so fast, it felt like my head was spinning. I guessed that was what happened when you were dreading what was coming next. I'd tried living in denial the entire week, pretending that I wasn't about to marry myself off to a perfect stranger, one I no longer had any interest in whatsoever.

Yates had been texting and calling all week, checking in with me and making sure I was still on board to do this. His tone hadn't been exactly threatening, but he was putting pressure on me. He'd also been trying to be sweet, telling me that his mother had hired a wedding planner, and I didn't need to worry about anything.

But here it was Friday morning, and I couldn't pretend this wasn't happening anymore. I had to drive to Dallas this morning with Quinn to meet up with my sisters at the Rutherford Estate. Yeah, I still couldn't believe I was about to marry into a family with anestate.Still, my disbelief didn't change the fact that this was happening.

The past two weeks almost felt like a dream. I'd gotten Maddox back, and he actually wanted me. I had no idea what I was doing or how any of this was going to work out. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, living in a blissful state of denial where Yates only existed in this shiny little box I shovedhim into in my mind, and he only popped out when he called or texted.

I wanted to tell Maddox everything so incredibly bad. There were multiple times since our picnic that the words almost spilled out of my mouth, confessing every sordid detail to him like he deserved. But, I held back. I didn't doubt that he meant everything he said. Over the past month, his actions proved to me that he really was still that protective and possessive boy he was all those years ago.

Yet I couldn't bring myself to ask for his help. I'd always been independent and strong, and for some reason asking him to dig me out of this situation felt wrong. I pulled out my phone to send him a text. We'd been texting nonstop all week when we weren't actually together. Whenever my phone buzzed or lit up this week, a smile would break out across my face.

Ryan: Getting ready to leave now. Taking Quinny with me. Wish you were coming too.

Maddox: Text me when you get there.

His message was a lot shorter than the ones he'd been sending all week, and I had to believe it was because I was still going through with all of this, and it weighed just as heavily on him as it was me. Maybe even more so because he didn't know the truth of the situation. I knew I was hurting him. I knew it, and I was doing it anyway. I was officially a terrible person.

With a heavy sigh, I pushed up off my bed and grabbed the bag I'd packed. I was leaving for Dallas as soon as Quinn was ready, and I wouldn't be coming home until after my honeymoon. I shuddered as I thought about a week away with Yates once we were married. Alone time with him was not what I wanted, but it was the price I had to pay.

Quinn popped his head into my room, looking as shitty as I felt. "Ready?" I knew he was a little bit mad at me for going through with this, too, especially since he was the only one whoknew the truth. But he'd stand by my side no matter what, and I loved him for it.

"Not even a little bit," I answered, slinging my bag over my shoulders and taking one last glance back into my room. Every corner of this place held memories of time spent with the man I really loved and wanted but wasn't sure I'd ever get to have.

The car ride to Dallas with Quinn was mostly silent, outside of the country radio station he had playing quietly in the background. I knew everything he wanted to say to me, and he knew the reasons I'd tell him I had to go through with this. We'd talked ourselves out over the past month, and now there was nothing left to say.

I stared down at my phone, willing Maddox to send me something,anything, to show me he wasn't going to bail on me again. He was the main reason I got through these past two weeks without breaking down. I needed him even more now, even if I knew it wasn't fair.

"Jesus Christ," Quinn's murmured curse had me lifting my face off of the blank screen of my phone and looking out the windshield at the monstrousRutherford Estate."Are these people for real?" he asked, but I didn't think he expected me to answer.

"Unfortunately," I muttered.

Quinn turned to me, his jaw clenched. "Are youseriouslygoing to go through with this bullshit, Ryan?"

Slumping down in the seat, I broke eye contact with him and stared back at the giant house looming in the distance. "I don't have a choice, Quinn."

He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel. "Yes, you fucking do, Ryan! Why are you so determined to fuck up your life by doing this? You don't have to. No one is making you butyou. Stop being an idiot. Maddox would step in and help. You know he would."

I hesitated. "Quinn…"

"Don't give me whatever bullshit excuse you're about to. I don't want to hear it." His tone was final, and he turned back to stare out the windshield, shifting his truck back into gear and finishing the short drive to where all the other cars were parked. I hated that he was mad at me, but I knew it was between us. Once we left this car, he'd never show it to anyone else. And he'd come around. Quinn would always support me even if he didn't agree.

With one last sigh, I pried the door open, but I turned back to Quinn before I stepped out. "Quinny, please don't be mad at me. I'm trying to do the right thing here," I pleaded with him. I couldn't face this shitshow without my best friend. It already felt like Maddox was mad at me, and if Quinn was mad, I might just break down right here, and I couldn't afford to do that. My family couldn't afford my second thoughts and cold feet. It was time to pull on my big girl panties and lie in the bed I'd made for myself.

Quinn leaned forward and rested his forehead on the steering wheel, a long sigh escaping him. "I'm not mad at you, Ryan. I just think you're making an epically fucking huge mistake marrying this guy for the reasons you are. But you know I'll stand by your side no matter what," he vowed, turning his head and flashing me a small smile.

The tension that'd made its home deep in my chest unfurled at his words, and warmth took its place. I reached over and squeezed his hand. "Thank you," I whispered, fighting off the sting in my eyes. I couldn't show these people any weakness. Yates's mother would eat me alive. I let Quinn's hand go and blinked a few times before steeling myself and stepping out of the truck.

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